Stairway
by greatgooglymoogly88
Summary: Tavros Nitram is a young kid in a new city, trying to get over his introverted nature and make himself anew. However, he encounters a few problems due to losing his legs in an accident years ago. But he soon meets a neighbor, Gamzee Makara, who is more than willing to help a brother out. Can a reluctant friendship become something more?
1. Chapter 1

_Good evening, my dears. I am officially back in action. This here is just a little Tavros and Gamzee story that probably won't exceed a few chapters. But then again, who knows? Please enjoy, rate, and review!_

_~Ari_

* * *

Cars weren't exactly Tavros's thing.

So, riding in the well-worn back seat of the speeding taxi was really grating on his nerves. It had felt to him as though we were going 100 miles an hour, though it couldn't have been any more than sixty. Regardless, it had been years since Tavros had been in a car moving faster than ten miles an hour, let alone with a complete stranger.

Tavros gripped the door handle tightly, breathing in deeply every once in awhile as he tried to convince himself that it was almost over. Soon enough, the vehicle slowed and he hesitantly opened his eyes.

He was finally here. The apartment building that would now be his home. Tavros smiled to himself, out of a combination of relief, fear, and joy. He was finally leaving behind his old life in the small Ohio town where he was the quiet boy the others always picked on.

No. He would never be that kid again. High school was over, and now was his chance to start over as a new, more confident person. The middle-aged cabby stepped out of the car, popping open the trunk and unfolding Tavros's wheelchair.

The eighteen year old timidly lifted himself from the car by his arms and placed himself in the chair. Eight years ago, he had been in a car accident, causing him to lose both his legs at the knee. Ever since then, he was confined to that stupid chair and had faced ridicule from his classmates constantly.

But not anymore, he thought to himself as he lifted his few suitcases onto his lap and paying the cab driver. He would no longer let his disability define who he was.

However, that didn't stop it from making carrying bags a thousand times more difficult than necessary. Tavros struggled to balance the load on his lap as he wheeled over to the ramp on the side of the old building.

He had to admit, it was a lot more decrepit of a place than he had imagined. The brick walls were dusty and riddled with overgrown ivy and moss. There were gum wrappers and cigarette butts thrown about the grass and sidewalk carelessly and the concrete was covered in grafitti. Tavros shrugged, perfectly fine with the conditions. All that mattered to him was that this was his home. Besides, his old house in Ohio wasn't much better.

He opened the side door with quite a struggle, having to maneuver his chair around to keep from slamming the heavy door on himself. He recalled his new address; he would be on the second floor in 12B. Luckily for him, there was an elevator so he could easily go up and down the levels with relative ease.

The rickety elevator was effective enough, though the roughness caused Tavros to drop a bag. He cursed lightly under his breath, something he did on a very rare occasion, and struggled to lift the thing up. The door opened just as he was about to fall over, but Tavros managed to reposition himself in the chair.

He flushed when he noticed someone sitting on the stairs across from him. Yet, the person didn't seem to notice. Curious, Tavros looked timidly over at the messy haired man sprawled lazily over the steps. He appeared to be napping, which seemed quite strange to Tavros. He thought to himself, perhaps it's just how people are in this city. He was used to the small suburban environment where everyone locked their doors and kept their distance.

He brushed off the sight, but couldn't help but glance at the young man napping on the stairs. There was something about the way his thick black curls fell, covering his face and the lankiness of his body in sleep that stirred something in bronze-eyed boy. Looking closer still, he saw a thin white scar trailing down the right side of his face from the upper lip to cheek bone. He wondered briefly what could have given this guy such a peculiar scar. Tavros didn't worry over it, though. He had bigger issues to deal with. Like how on earth he was going to deal with unpacking his stuff alone.

Tavros was absolutely exhausted by the time the sun went down. He hadn't gotten much unpacking done due to his hindrance but it was tiring nonetheless. He wasn't used to doing things by himself, and now he understood why his mother had been so upset when he told her he was moving out on his own.

He stretched his aching muscles, yawning deeply as he did so. The mohawked boy felt his stomach growl, and realized he had skipped lunch. Now was as good a time as any to grab a bite, he thought to himself as he pulled on a sweater and opened his new front door. There was a McDonalds just down the street that he could easily get to. As always, Tavros smiled at the thought of chicken nuggets. He figured a reward was due after all the work he'd done.

He grabbed his wallet and made his way to the elevator. Tavors pressed the down button and waited for a moment.

A few seconds went by. Nothing was happening.

A little worried, Tavros pressed the button again. The same results. He chewed his bottom lip nervously, not sure what to do. If the elevator was broken, how would be get downstairs? He couldn't use the real stairs and there were no ramps up here. Even if he just ignored his hunger and waited the night out, what would be do in the morning. Tavros became very worried and regretted his decision to leave home.

There was no way he could take care of himself. He was such a stupid cripple, he couldn't even go down one flight of stairs! Before he knew it, Tavros had a warm trail of tears starting to make their way down his pink cheeks. There was no use trying to stop the tears; he was too tired and hungry and nervous to care.

Tavros hunched over, wiping his eyes and nose of the sleeves of his white cardigan. Suddenly, he heard a voice call to him from behind.

"You motherfucking okay over there, bro?"

Tavros started, turning around too quickly and causing his chair to wobble and near fall over. He cried out, but the impact never came. It turns out the source of the voice, the same man who was asleep on the stairs earlier that day, had steadied the wheelchair. Tavros flushed in embarrassment. "Uh, I'm s-sorry…" he stammered, avoiding the black haired man's half lidded gaze.

"It's chill," the man replied nonchalantly, waving a lazy hand through the air. "Now, what were you up and crying about?"

Tavros sniffed, trying to gather up the courage to talk to this stranger. His voice was so gruff, yet there was a soothing undertone in there. For some reason, Tavros wanted to hear it again. "I...uh, the elevator is broken."

The man looked at Tavros blankly for a moment, but realization clicked in his violet eyes. "Oh, so you need to get down the motherfucking stairs, huh?" Tavros nodded sheepishly. "I can help with that."

Tavros's blush deepened to crimson and he waved off the offer fervently. "Oh, no, I wouldn't, uh, want to trouble you or anything-" He yelped as the tall stranger lifted him up from the chair with one arm. "What are you doing?" he exclaimed. This guy had just picked him up like a rag doll! Oh god, Tavros thought, what if he kidnaps me?

However, the man shushed him soothingly and patted his back. "It's all right, brother," he said quietly as he walked down the stairs. Soon enough, it was over and the man helped Tavros back into his chair which he had carried in his other arm.

Tavros smiled up at him. "Thank you," he whispered. But, then again, there was the issue of getting back up the stairs when he returned.

As if reading his mind, the man said, "So you'll need help getting back up the stairs, right?"

"Yeah...I-I guess so."

"Then I'll just come with you." The man said this in more of a matter-of-fact way than a question. "By the way, my name is Gamzee Makara. What's yours, brother?"

Tavros stammered. "Uh...Tavros Nitram."

Gamzee smiled at him lazily, patting the smaller boy on the back. "Nice to meet you Tavbro. Now let's get some motherfucking food."

Tavros sighed. He could tell he'd have no say in any of this, but he had to admit; it was nice to have some company.


	2. Chapter 2

_Wow, guys. It's been a looooooooooong day. I've had so much work to do and I gotta be honest. I won't be able to update this story at frequently as my others. School just takes up so much time. _

_Anyway, I'd like to credit my buddy Sky for some of the plot. Thanks, bro. So please enjoy everyone! Any reviews are appreciated. Don't forget to follow and favorite if this meets your fancy!_

_~Ari_

* * *

Tavros had never experienced anyone quite like this Gamzee. He was like the exact opposite of Tavros and yet he felt himself drawn to the peculiar man. Where Tavros was quiet, reserved, and shy, Gamzee was loud, funny, and over the top. They had barely met, nevertheless knew each other, and the taller of the two had already carried Tavros down the stairs like a sack of flour. Tavros wasn't sure how to feel about all this. But, he had no choice but to get to know Gamzee better as they made their way to the McDonald's across the street.

"So what brought you to this hellhole, brother?" Gamzee asked, smiling down at the blushing boy in the wheelchair.

Tavros stuttered, avoiding eye contact with the violet-eyed man. "Well, uh, I just graduated from high school and I wanted, uh…some independence. This place was pretty affordable, so…" he trailed off, shrugging his petite shoulders.

Gamzee leaned down, smiling dopily. "That's pretty rad. What, no college for you?" Tavros shook his head in embarrassment. "It's cool. I tried college for a while but it wasn't my thing. So I dropped out and now I have my own motherfucking business."

"Oh?" Tavros asked, finally looking up. "What's your business?"

Gamzee smiled down at the mohawked teenager. "That's a story for another day, bro. Any other questions?"

Tavros quirked a brow curiously, but shook it off. Perhaps this guy just wanted to get to know him better before revealing such personal information. It was quite understandably; they had only known each other for ten minutes or something. Instead, Tavros changed the subject, asking, "So, uh…what's there to do around here?"

"Aw, Tavbro, there's tons of cool shit to do around this city," Gamzee exclaimed easily as the younger man wheeled himself around next to him. He told him of the local night club, Spark, which he often frequented himself on the weekends. There were a number of quaint bookstores that Tavros found himself particularly excited about, a small-scale theatre, numerous restaurants and bars. Turns out the city was pretty exciting if you knew your way around it. The night scene was particularly well circuited, as Gamzee revealed.

Pretty soon the pair arrived at the McDonald's. They walked in, getting in the surprisingly long queue for such a late hour. They ordered their meal, choosing to sit in one of the cracked leather booths near the front window rather than carry back to the apartment complex.

Sitting across from the eccentric man, Tavros got a real clear view of him. His eyes really were purple, a very rare shade that reminded Tavros of Elizabeth Taylor. The scar that ran from his upper lip to his cheekbone created a jagged edge to his otherwise pale as porcelain skin. His hair was, as mentioned before, thick and black, curling up to frame his face. On closer inspection, Tavros noticed a streak of grey thrown into the bangs. He briefly wondered if this was done intentionally or something had caused the streak to appear. Gamzee did look like a rather laidback fellow, though.

Tavros picked lightly over his chicken nuggets, drowsy from his long day. He wanted nothing more than to lie down and sleep. He could feel his eyelids grow heavy. "You okay, bro?" he heard Gamzee ask as he spaced out. He snapped back to reality, eyes still heavy-lidded.

"Yeah," he responded with a yawn. "Just tired."

"We could go home if you wanted," Gamzee shrugged, packing away his meal. "We can up and finish this in my apartment."

Tavros was a little reluctant to follow a complete stranger into his apartment, but he didn't want to seem rude. Besides, he was interested in this strange guy. They were opposites, but maybe they could be friends? And he still felt this strange spark when looking at him, like a rumble in the pit of his stomach. "Alright," he agreed with a small smile.

Pretty soon, they were back across the street and in front of the dreaded stairs. As expected, the elevator was still out of service. Tavros felt terrible about asking for help again but he saw no way around it. However, Gamzee was still perfectly willing to help out. "Just hop on my back, bro," he said with a grin, already helping the smaller man out of the chair.

Tavros nodded hurriedly, a deep crimson blush already seeping onto his cheeks. It took a while, being paralyzed and all that, but pretty soon Tavros was hitched up on the bigger man's back. Gamzee carried both Tavros and the wheelchair with ease, as if the two weighed nothing at all. Tavros felt pretty embarrassed. He was very tiny for someone of his age, standing at only 5'6 with his mohawk spiked up. Gamzee was much taller and had a considerably stronger build. But the bigger man didn't seem to be mocking him with the action; quite the opposite. He seemed to genuinely want to help Tavros out.

Regardless, Tavros was very much ready to go home and sleep, the bag of McDonald's still clutched in his fist nearly forgotten. He was confused for a moment as Gamzee continued carrying him in the opposite direction of his apartment.

"Umm... Gamzee? I would like to get back to...uhh my room.. could you take me there?" Tavros said hesitantly, lightly tapping the curly-haired noirette on the shoulder. "I'm really tired."

"No can do, Tavbro," Gamzee replied with a cheeky grin. "You made a promise to chill in my room. And we haven't even finished our motherfucking chicken nuggets!"

"Uh...okay," Tavros responded in defeat, too tired to put up much of a fight. He allowed himself to be carried into Gamzee's apartment, too dark to see anything yet. He was set down, still in the shadow of darkness, on some sort of couch.

Soon the room was lit, if only a little. A single bulb shone from a lamp in the corner of the room, bathing the room in contouring shadows. "Wow..." Tavros breathed, taking in the scenery. Gamzee certainly had some...special interests, to say the least.

It was evident this guy had a thing for clowns. The walls were covered from floor to ceiling in Insane Clown Posse posters and the floor was strewn with black bicycle horns. The place was an overall mess, with clothes thrown every which way and charcoal sketches taped here and there where room was available between posters. The door to the kitchen was burned along the edges and there were full ash trays and bottles of Faygo on every available surface.

Tavros was a very clean person. He folded all his clothes in a particular way, vacuumed as best he could, and organized anything that could possibly be organized. This kind of mess wasn't exactly his cup of tea, but something about the whole room gave off an ambiance of coziness and familiarity. Gamzee plopped down on the plush couch next to Tavros, reaching over for the bag of McDonald's on his lap.

"So," Gamzee said between mouthfuls of french fries, "how exactly did you up and get yourself in that thing?" He gestured lazily to the folded up wheelchair discarded in the corner of the living room.

"Uh..." Tavros started, scratching the back of his head. "Well, when I was ten years old, I was riding in the car with my older sister. We were on the high way, and she was speeding. Like, uh, 80 miles per hour. Well, this one car kind of stopped in the middle of the road and we crashed into them from the side. The side I was sitting on. Anyway, the door was smashed in by the front of the other car and pierced both my legs. They ended having to, uh, amputate them from the knee. So, ever since then I've been in a wheelchair." Tavros shrugged, not wanting to talk about it anymore. He hated the fact that he was confined to that chair and couldn't run or walk or swim or do anything normal. People would always look at him on the street with pity or disgust and he hated it more that anything.

"Wow." Gamzee breathed, a very serious expression in his heavy-lidded purple eyes. "I'm so sorry, brother."

Crap. Tavros could feel himself choking up all over again. Twice in one day? God, he was such a big dumb baby. He nodded quickly, looking away from Gamzee. He didn't want his new friend to think he was a complete idiot who cried over everything.

However, Gamzee didn't seem to want to let Tavros suffer in silence. The bronze-eyed boy felt the man scoot closer and wrap him in a hug. "That's awful," he murmured. Tavros was mesmerized by this sudden change in attitude. Gamzee didn't seem like the type who could be serious. His tears forgotten, Tavros took a look at that white scar gracing the noirette's face. He wondered if there was a story behind that mark but he felt that this wasn't the right time to ask. Instead, he allowed his tears to flow freely, sinking into Gamzee's open arms.

He'd never felt so comfortable with someone before. Not even his own family. But there was something cozy and homey about the warm weight of Gamzee's arm across his chest that made him feel safe and calm. He didn't have to put up a front for this man or hide who he was. Gamzee was the only one who didn;t shy away from Tavros because of his disability.

And so, just sitting there with the warm embrace of another person around him, Tavros fell into a deep and peaceful sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

_Quick warning: There's drug use in this chapter._

_Also, this is a humanstuck AU, if you hadn't already figured that out. Gamzee is 21 years old and Tavros is 18. The story is set in an unspecified city that is pretty run down. Tavros has a sister whose identity may or may not be disclosed in future chapters. His accident left with his legs being amputated from the knee down, but he is not paralyzed. So he can still feel his weewee, aight? He'll be needing that later._

_~Ari_

* * *

Tavros awoke to find himself in a strange place covered in posters and horns and sketches. At first, he was frightened, having no recollection of the events that took place the night before, but soon enough he noticed the sprawled out form of Gamzee laying on a chair across the room, snoring softly in sleep.

The bronze-eyed teen had no idea how he could have possibly been dumb enough to fall asleep in a total stranger's home. He cursed himself for such a foolish and naive mistake. To think that he'd do something like this on his first day living alone! Yes, sure, Gamzee seemed perfectly nice and kind but...god, stuff could have happened. Especially, Tavros thought, when I'm stuck like this with no way to fight back. There was no way to even move with the wheelchair on the other side of the room like that.

At the mere thought of his legs, Tavros felt the familiar splitting ache where his knee caps cut off. He winced, rubbing the ends of his legs gently. He was used to these pains; they happened quite often in the mornings and normally he had a medicine he could take for it, but, of course, that stuff was in his own apartment across the hall.

Looked like he would have to tough it out until Gamzee woke up. Tavros sighed. Who knows how long that could be? He didn't even know what time it was. He had no hint from natural sunlight as the heavy purple curtains over the windows were pulled shut.

Perhaps, Tavros pondered, he could reach his wheelchair from the couch he was currently lying on. It was acoss the room, balanced against the wall near the front door. It was certainly far away, but Tavros could have been able to reach it if he stretched far enough...

"Augh!"

That hypothesis proved false. In his attempts to reach out as far as possible, he slid off the edge of the sofa and landed on the ground hard, hitting the nerve on his right knee cap on the way down. He shrieked automatically, the pain almost blinding. That alone was enough of an alarm clock for anyone within the complex and so it wasn't a surprise that Gamzee was awoken from his deep sleep.

He, too, was very confused and at first had no recollection of the events that partook the night before. But, he remembered meeting that cute little guy in the wheel chair and eating McDonald's with him. "Woah!" he exclaimed, voice still gruff from sleep. "What's happening?"

Tavros bit his lip in pain, hard enough to draw blood. "I...fell," he gasped, trying to push himself back up but failing. He slumped back on the grey fluffy carpet with a thud. The taller of the pair rushed over, lifting Tavros onto the couch once more. He looked concerned, his dark eyebrows knitted together.

"What hurts?" His hands hovered over the smaller boy awkwardly, not sure of what to do.

"I just-ah!" Tavros curled in on himself, taking the fetal position. "Leg..." he groaned, reaching down to point at the offending area. "It hurts...ouch..."

Gamzee reached down, gingerly grabbing Tavros's pant leg. "Jeez, I don't know what to do...Oh, wait! I got something that'll get rid of the pain fast as hell!" He ran out to the next room over, shuffling about noisily for a few moments before emerging again with a shoebox in his arms.

Tavros watched the violet-eyed man with weariness, but only a little. He couldn't focus on much more than the searing pain emanating from where his leg ended.

Still, Gamzee sat cross-legged on the floor, opening up the box and removing a square of paper and a baggy. "Trust me, bro," he said with a smile, "This will make that motherfucking pain go away as fast as a miracle."

"Uh..." Tavros started softly, frowning as Gamzee got to work rolling the contents of the baggy in the paper. "I don't do drugs, Gamzee."

"Just trust me, Tavbro," he responded, lifting himself from the ground and taking a long drag from the joint. He held the smoke in his lungs for a moment, releasing slowly and filling the room with a strangely intoxicating scent. "This will help you out."

Perhaps it was because he was in too much pain to put up a fight, but Tavros allowed the larger man to put the joint between his lips.

"Now inhale," Gamzee commanded softly, sitting above him. Tavros did as he was told, but the smoke caught in the back of his throat, making him cough. Gamzee smiled down at him as a teacher would look at a struggling student and said, "No, like this." He put the joint to his mouth and carefully took in a lung-full of the heavy smoke. He held it, breathing it out through his nose. Already his eyes began to grow heavy and a blush came to his usually ashy cheeks. "Try it again."

He looked up at the man hesitantly but still complied. Tavros took it back, carefully inhaling the smoke so it wouldn't burn his throat. He held his breath for a few seconds, trying to imitate Gamzee's form. As he breathed it out between his lips, he could already feel the pain ease away from his knee. "What is this stuff?" Tavros asked slowly, trying another drag from the joint.

"A mix of weed and sopor," Gamzee replied, taking his turn. Tavros had never heard of sopor before, but didn't bother asking. Perhaps it was better that he didn't know. But, it was doing a fair job of erasing the pain and he felt surprisingly calm after such a hangup only a few minutes ago.

The two went on like that for a while, taking turns with the joint until they were lying next to each other on the couch, both looking up at the ceiling lazily. At one point, Gamzee paused, as if mulling something over. He smiled brightly, and Tavros noticed how his scar would stretch along with the movement.

"I wanna try something," Gamzee told Tavros.

"Hm?"

"Here." Gamzee lifted himself and Tavros up a little, balacing himself over the smaller boy so he was sort of straddling him with one leg. "I've always wanted to motherfucking do this, but I never had anyone to do it with." Tavros watched curiously, too foggy to question his new friend's motives. Gamzee took an extra deep inhale from the joint and held it, but instead of just breathing it out, he grabbed Tavros's jaw and lifted his face closer to his own. He breathed the smoke into the other's mouth. "Now hold it," he commanded, watching as the younger man's face flushed from the proximity.

Tavros felt himself gain more control of his thoughts, turning crimson as Gamzee's lips came so close to his own he thought they would touch. He felt that strange feeling a again, that churning in the pit of his stomach. Only this time, it was much more intensified. He felt almost sick, but it might of just been the effects of the drugs taking their toll on him. Either way, he trembled as Gamzee's mouth hovered so close to his own.

There was a pause, and Tavros heard Gamzee snicker. "I think you've had enough for today," he said as he lifted himself from the couch. Tavros slumped down, agitated and tired and happy and confused all at the same time.


	4. Chapter 4

_Please excuse the brevity of this chapter. But, then again, all my stories are really short and pointless. Ah well, thanks for sticking around. It should start getting interesting soon. Just as a quick preview, the next chapter involves Gamzee sneaking Tavros into a night club. Ah, he's such a terrible influence =^.^=_

_~Ari_

* * *

It was a while before Tavros regained his practical mindset and realized that, in a spa of twelve hours, had allowed himself to not only fall asleep in a stranger's house, but smoke some unknown substance with said stranger. Needless to say, the bronze-eyed boy found himself too upset and agitated to get any real work done in his new apartment. Unopened boxes were scattered throughout the rooms, tools and furniture spread out with no sense of order. The walls still needs to be painted and the curtains hung over the windows. The only things readily accessible were his bed and couch, the TV set up on a stack of boxes an not yet plugged in to the cable adapter. Tavros knew he'd have to finish the place up eventually, but he figured he could use a break after all the crap he'd gone through with moving to a new town and, move specifically, the happenings of his peculiar new neighbor Gamzee Makara.

There was just something about that guy that drew Tavros in. Strangely, he still could not figure out what that thing was, but Tavros knew the more he got to know Gamzee, the stronger that feeling would become. The question was, did Tavros want to harbor such a strange emotion even in light of the past few hours' events? Or would it be better to avoid his strange neighbor completely?

This was a decision Tavros was definitely not ready to make. Instead, he chose to clear his mind was a movie. Yes, maybe something cute, like Disney? The idea was quite appealing to Tavros at that moment so he took to his movie collection to see what his options were.

"Let's see..." Tavros whispered to himself as he shuffled through the still unpacked and organized box of movies. "_The Little Mermaid, Sleeping Beauty..._Ah!" He stopped his shuffling, smiling as he held up one movie in particular. It was his all-time favorite, _Peter Pan. _He sighed, fond childhood memories of himself prancing around in his well-worn Peter Pan costume and daydreaming of flying off to Neverland still fresh in his mind. ow, of course, such Prancing was impossible for him but simply watching watching the beloved tale would be enough to put Tavros in a happy mood once again.

He pulled out the movie from the box, quickly wheeling himself over to the dvd player set up so precariously on his stack of boxes and got the video started. He grabbed a can of lemonade and a bag of pretzels from the kitchen and got to work pulling his body onto the couch. By the end of this familiar endeavor, the opening previews had reached a conclusion and the familiar and comforting logo for Disney graced the screen, the fantastical white and blue castle with music spurring fond memories through Tavros' head.

Tavros had nearly every line from the movie memorized, and mouthed each scene to himself in content. He allowed his mind to clear of any distressing thoughts, especially those consisting of a particular neighbor, and engrossed himself in the world of Never Neverland.

The scene where Peter offers a kiss to Wendy always got to Tavros. He sighed, his inner fangirl in full shipping mode. Wendy and Peter was his absolute favorite OTP who he remained true to throughout the years. It was his childhood dream to have someone offer his a "kiss," a small token like a thimble as a sign of love.

Unfortunately, such thoughts led him back to that morning's events in Gamzee's apartment. The way their mouths almost touched when they exchanged smoke, god, it was so close to a kiss, Tavros could still remember the feel of Gamzee's breath on his skin, the way the smoke tickled his bottom lip as it entered his mouth. Gamzee had not taken his eyes off his for the whole thing. The though made Tavros blush. He almost regretted that not being a kiss.

Wait, regret? What was he thinking? Tavros shook it off, absolutely refusing any such thoughts. He barely knew the guy and besides, Tavros wasn't gay. He paused. Or, at least, he thought he wasn't gay. Tavros had never really considered his romantic preference. He was too shy to date in high school, and no one had ever really expressed any sort of interest in him romantically.

But Gamzee hadn't displayed any interest in him, either! He merely wanted someone to get high with, and Tavros had happened to be the nearest available figure. There were no hidden meanings or flirting or anything weird like that. "Besides," Tavros said aloud to himself, "There's nothing special about me. No one would ever think about me in...that way."

Even in private, Tavros was embarrassed by the idea of romance. It just wasn't something he involved himself with.

But, god, Gamzee gave him such a strange feeling. Tavros knew, whether he chose to accept it or not, that this feeling was that of liking someone. And that someone was Gamzee.

A crush.

He had a crush on Gamzee.

Tavros groaned, stressed by this revelation. There was no way he'd let this feeling grow. He would do everything in his power to avoid his strange neighbor at all costs. He had no business fostering such a preposterous crush and had no intentions of letting himself get hurt. He was sure that now, with this fresh new start in a new city, that he would take control of his life and not let himself into such upsetting situations.

By the time Tavros was done with his romantic epiphany, the movie was at its last scene. Tavros slunk down on the couch in disappointment, mad at himself for getting so caught up in this lovey dovey bullcrap.

_(That was a pun.)_


	5. Chapter 5

_Hello, my dears. You may have noticed that I changed the rating from 'T' to 'M'. I just thought it would be more prudent to raise the rating for the drugs and swearing that are already occurring, plus any violence and sexual situations that may arise in the future. I'm sorry if this is any trouble for anyone, but please stay with me! I love all of you who read this and I'd be heartbroken if you stopped because of the rating. I just want to make sure that I don't expose any young and innocent eyes to mature content. So, please continue to enjoy and leave any suggestions, comments, or questions in the reviews! Thank you so much for your support and I hope your day is as lovely and fabulous as you are. _

_Also, is anyone going to Katsucon 2014 this January? It would be so cool to meet some of you guys there! (It is in Maryland in America, by the way. For anyone who isn't aware.)_

_~Ari_

* * *

For the first week, Tavros did a pretty fair job of avoiding Gamzee.

He had call the manager about the broken elevator and it was fixed immediately, making it possible for him to travel from floor to floor independently. Gamzee mostly spent his time indoors so Tavros didn't see him too often. When he did, the wavy-haired man was usually napping on the stairs or if he did happen to be conscious and notice the mohawked teenager,Tavros would quickly say hello and be on his way, leaving no time for Gamzee to ask questions.

This routine was fine for a while, until Gamzee took notice.

On the third day of the second week, Gamzee stopped Tavros in the hallway. The shorter noirette was struggling with his wheelchair in the elevator when Gamzee suddenly sprang forth from his apartment, as if awaiting his arrival. Tavros tried very hard to slip by with a simple 'hello,' but Gamzee wouldn't have it. With a determined expression gracing his scarred pale face, he grabbed the armrest of the wheelchair with a tight grip, preventing any escape on Tavros' part. Tavros sighed, avoiding the taller of the two's violet eyes but accepting his inevitable defeat. He prepared for any anger that would be directed towards him.

Gamzee was surprisingly calm, despite his tight grip on Tavros' chair. He looked a little confused as he said, "Why are you avoiding me?"

Tavros blinked, surprised by the soft tone in his usually gruff voice. "I-I-I, uh, I've been busy so-"

Gamzee waved off the excuse. "Is it because of that sopor thing a few days ago? Look, brother, I've been feeling really shitty about all that and I think I should make it up to you."

Now Tavros was really surprised. "Oh! You don't, uh, have to do that. I'm not mad or anything..."

"No way, Tavbro. I need to do some motherfucking repentance for that shit. I realize how uncomfortable that made you and I reckon that's why you don't wanna talk to me. But I'm really not that much of an asshole, I promise. So, how about I show you the local night life tonight?"

Tavros paused, unsure of how to react. It was a kind offer, coming from Gamzee, but it wasn't really something he could picture himself doing. He was a very reserved guy, not the type to want to be in big crowds or parties or anything. Besides, he'd feel awkward since he couldn't dance (for obvious reasons.) But, he moved to this city for a reason! "Well, sure," he said before he could change his mind.

"Sweet!" Gamzee exclaimed, wheeling the bronze-eyed boy towards his apartment. "It'll do you some good. 'Motherfucker's gotta have fun once in a while, right?" He laughed, the kind that was genuine and shook his whole body.

Tavros giggled hesitantly. "Y-yeah, man. Motherfucking...fun."

"That's the spirit, bromane!" He stopped in front of the door, letting go so Tavros could go in his own room. "I'll pick you up at 10." Gamzee skipped over to his own apartment, winking over-dramatically in the process. "It's a date!"

Tavros was glad that the Gamzee had entered his own apartment and missed the hot crimson blush now covering his cheeks. He wondered what in the hell he had gotten himself into.

* * *

By the time 10 o'clock rolled around, Tavros had already psyched himself out, thinking of all the ways possible that this night could go horribly wrong. Knowing Gamzee, they'd probably do a lot of illegal shit and Tavros really wasn't looking forward to that. He could only hope that Gamzee's idea of the 'local night life' was seeing a movie and eating dinner at a nice, cozy restaurant.

Such hopes could barely be expected to be reached.

Gamzee came knocking on Tavros' door at 10 o'clock precisely. When the shorter teen opened he found the tall man dressed in a rather nice outfit. His long, lean frame looked elegant and stylish in a pair of thin black jeans and a white button-down shirt adorned with a purple tie and black vest. His wore a pair of well-worn black converse on his feet and a checkerboard black and red belt. It was a lot fancier than his usual getup of a baggy t-shirt and hoodie.

Tavros had to admit, he was digging this new side of his eccentric neighbor. He had always had a thing for clothes, though he tended to keep it hidden so nobody would think he was girly. However, he still kept a small array of leather jackets, slim dress pants, cool shoes, and such in the back of his closet. He admired the 1950's style and tended to lean towards that look when going to a special occasion or something of that nature.

And so, Tavros felt more of a sense of excitement than indignation when Gamzee gave him a once-over, shaking his head as he took in the boy's white cable knit sweater and brown pants. He hadn't expected this to be an evening of formal attire so he stuck with something simple and comfy. However, Gamzee clearly had a classier idea in mind so he insisted on going through Tavros' closet in search of a more appropriate outfit. "We always wear this shit when we go out," Gamzee explained obtusely, gesturing to his clothes as he walked.

The taller of the two certainly looked surprised to see the articles of clothing hanging neatly in Tavros' closet. There was, of course, his usual casual gear but there was plenty of the aforementioned retro outfits hung among the other garments. Gamzee pieced through each happily, choosing a pair of dark blue jeans, a tight-fitting brown blazer, and a white button-up.

* * *

_okay, okay, I'm really sorry about having this stupid little 'let's play dress up' segment in all of my stories I just really like it and it's fun to write and I'm sorry please forgive me_

_~Ari_

* * *

"This would look motherfucking hot on you, bro," Gamzee laughed, putting the bundle of Tav's lap.

"T-thanks," Tavros stammered, unused to such a compliment. He held the clothes hesitantly, looking away. "It might take me a while to get this on...cuz, well, you know." He gestured down to where his brown pants were tied off, ending where his calves should have begun.

"It's cool," Gamzee said nonchalantly, crossing to the living room so Tavros wouldn't feel uncomfortable. "Just holler if you need any assistance."

Luckily, Tavros did accomplish the task of changing independently, although the whole endeavor ended up taking a lot longer than one would find acceptable. In other words, ten minutes later Tavros wheeled himself from his bedroom, fully dressed and finally ready to go. Gamzee had been zoned out on the plush tan couch, absentmindedly flipping through the channels on Tavros' TV (that was finally connected to cable.) "All right!" the Makara exclaimed jovially when he noticed the younger man's presence. "You look awesome. Now let's go tear shit up."

"Y-you don't...literally mean-" Tavros stammered.

Gamzee just laughed, holding open the front door for Tavros.

The bronze-eyed boy wasn't really sure if that was a good sign.


	6. Chapter 6

By 10:30, Gamzee had Tavros in the passenger seat of his car and driving through the illuminated city. This was the first time Tavros really got to admire the lights and sights of this new place, his new home, and he was shocked by how beautiful the rust old city could be. It transformed completely at night, from its dull rickety concrete jungle to a glowing oasis of happy young people in nice clothes hopping from bar to bar, groups of kids running around having fun, and nicely dressed older people going out for a fancy dinner. Tavros felt out of place, having come from a small quaint town where such grandiose was rare.

"So where are we going?" Tavros finally asked, tearing his gaze away from the window to look at the driver.

"Just a little place I like to chill at."

Tavros was a little uneasy by the generic reply but chose to roll with it. He was ready for a more spontaneous lifestyle. This was what he wanted, after all.

They ended up parking near a decrepit alleyway, rather cut off from the rest of the illuminated city. Tavros shrugged, however, expecting such a thing from Gamzee. As long as they weren't going dumpster diving or anything, Tavros was ready.

"I'm gonna introduce you to some of my chums," Gamzee said with a smile, leading the way into the dark alley. There, they encountered a door hidden behind a few boxes and entered. It led to a hallway, with red walls and a plush black carpet. The walls were strung with colorful Christmas lights that gave the hall a rainbow hue. Looking farther, Tavros noticed that the hall expanded into a bigger area, filled with a few random chairs and a television in the corner. To the far left wall was a little bar. The room had a few people occupying it, who all turned from the previous occupations to greet Gamzee and Tavros warmly.

"Hey!" said one of the people, a petite girl with wavy blonde hair that curled up just above her shoulders and the biggest green eyes Tavros had ever seen. She was wearing, oddly enough, a pair of lime green cat ears and a tail over her black dress. "You must be Tavros! Gamzee told us aaaaaaaaaaaaaall about you," she squealed, grabbing his hand. "You're even cuter than Gamz said!" Tavros blushed, looking over to Gamzee, but he was already occupied with talking to a short guy with thick brown hair.

"Uh...thanks," Tavros said uneasily, trying to smile at the excitable girl.

"Oh! I'm Nepeta by the way," the girl said, blushing. "So, it's great to meet you, Tav. I hope you have a great time tonight." Nepeta giggled, hopping a little and moved back so Tavros could be introduced to another one of Gamzee's friends.

"Nice to meet you, too," he said, a little more sure of himself. Tavros liked this girl. She seemed very kind. She took a step back, gesturing to another girl to come over.

"Here, Kan! Meet the new guy!" The other girl was much taller, even taller than Tavros. She looked quite a bit like a model, with her wavy black pixie cut, high cheekbones, and slim silhouette. Everything about her was elegant, from the way she walked to her simple, tight-fitting red dress.

"Hello," she greeted softly, smiling down at Tavros.

"H-hello!" he stammered, a little put off by her beauty. "I'm Tavros."

"Nice to meet you. My name is Kanaya." The girl took a step back and gestured to the room. "This is just where we tend to meet up, in case you were wondering what we were doing in this shithole. We should be leaving for the club quite soon."

Tavros gulped. "Club?"

"Yes, of course," Kanaya responded, tilting her head at the shorter boy. "Where else would we be going on a Friday night?"

"Oh, uh, yeah. It's just...I don't think I'm old enough to go to a club."

Kanaya's chocolate brown eyes widened. "Really? How old are you, then?"

"...eighteen."

Kanaya chuckled softly to herself, looking down at Tavros with endearment. "Poor dear. You must be fresh out of high school. Tell me, then, how did you end up associating with someone like Gamzee?"

Tavros blushed, rubbing the back of his neck. "It was sort of accidental. Well, uh, the elevator in our apartment broke down last week and I couldn't really get down the stairs by myself so Gamzee helped out. So, uh, I guess we're friends now."

"Ah," Kanaya nodded. Tavros was surprised that she didn't followup with a question about his legs. She did seem to occasionally glance at them, but was polite enough not to mention them, or, well, their lack thereof. Tavros really appreciated that, and smiled up at the tall girl. She, too, seemed very kind and he was rather hoping that they could be friends.

"Hey!" Gamzee sidled between the two, a drink already in hand from the tiny bar in the corner of the room. "How's going? We all up and motherfucking acquainted now?"

"Yep," Nepeta giggled, scrunching her nose at Gamzee. "Your friend is very cute!" She winked at Tavros, and he wondered if this whole winking thing was a common theme between this group of friends.

"I know, right?" Gamzee responded, affectionately ruffling Tav's mohawk. "Oh, yeah! I gotta introduce you to my best bro." He gestured across the room to the short guy with the thick brown hair. "Hey, Kar! Come here!"

The man turned towards the group, revealing a classically handsome face lined with purple circles under the eyes. His eyes were quite peculiar, a pinkish hue that looked red in some spots. He'd never seen anyone with an eye color like that before. He wore a scowl, and Tavros wondered if that was his general appearance or if he just didn't want to be there. Regardless, 'Kar' came over, formally shaking Tavros' hand and introducing himself as Karkat.

"Sorry you had to get involved with this fuckwad," he growled, gesturing towards Gamzee. "Trust me, he'll be stuck to you like glue forever now."

As if on cue, Gamzee wrapped his arms lazily around the grouchy man. "I love you too, best bro."

"Fuck you!"

Tavros couldn't help but laugh at the sight. The tall, intimidating Gamzee was acting like a playful kitten with this Karkat guy. It was quite the spectacle and Tavros wondered if they were together. The thought made Tavros' stomach clench, but he swallowed the emotion, not wanting his brain to connect it to any unnecessary feelings towards Gamzee. He'd been working all week to suppress those feelings; there was no way in hell he was giving up now. So, he took a deep breath, plastering a smile onto his petite face once more.

"So, when are we going?" he asked once Karkat and Gamzee had finished their little play-fight.

"This really great club called Elixir!" Nepeta purred, already a little flushed from the drink she was sipping at.

"But we need to wait for Sollux and Terezi to get here," Kanaya chimed in.

"Yeah, where are those fuckers anyway?" Karkat asked, taking a seat on the couch. Gamzee quickly joined him, cuddling up to the shorter man.

"They're gonna be here soon, bro."

"Whatever," Karkat grumbled, crossing his arms.

Tavros cleared his throat a little, trying to work up the courage to a ask a question burning in the back of his mind. "So," he said quietly to the group, blushing from the attention, "how am I going to get into Elixir? I, uh, I'm under the age of 21."

"Leave that to us!" Gamzee replied jovially, pulling Tavros' chair closer to himself so he could haphazardly put his arm around the younger of the two. "We know the bouncer pretty well so you'll be fine."

They continued their conversations for a while, waiting for the two unknown friends to arrive. Tavros learned a little more about the people he just met.

Kanaya, as it turns out, was 21 years old like Gamzee and was studying at the local university to major in fashion design. Her other passion was playing the flute and she lived a few blocks away in an apartment with her girlfriend, Rose. She did model part time when she was younger but had quit the practice because she found the whole thing too shallow. She was rather funny behind her cool and calm exterior, cracking sarcastic jokes every once in a while.

Nepeta was the same age as the others and studied at the same university as Kanaya, only she majored in studio art. As it turns out, the bouncer at Elixir was her best friend so he would definitely let Tavros get in without any hassle. She lived with her older sister in a studio apartment and, surprise surprise, loved cats. Actually, the topic of felines came up quite a bit throughout the conversation. Tavros, too, liked cats and the two bonded over the mutual appreciation for the feline form. They were actually quite similar in a few ways, which Tavros liked. They would definitely be close friends.

Karkat was considerably less warm than the two girls. He was a very cranky guy but seemed to enjoy talking and, despite his protestations, was pretty close friends with Gamzee. He liked movies a lot, but tended to avoid movie theatres because the intimacy of watching a movie in a darkened room with strangers made him uncomfortable. He lived alone and seemed to not be dating Gamzee, which made Tavros sigh with relief, albeit unwillingly.

And Gamzee, of course, was 21 and lived alone. He was supposed to major in acting but dropped out of the university because he felt it was too much work. He chose instead to run his own business. Tavros still was not sure what this business was, but chose not to pry. He learned also that Gamzee had two older brothers who used to tease him constantly. He'd get so fed up with them sometimes that he ran away and that was how he ended up in this city. He'd been here ever since he was 16 years old, and had basically taken care of himself from that point on.

Tavros was mesmerized by the story, the way Gamzee told it with such a solemn expression that you could tell the memory of his family made him sad. It was an expression that made Tavros want to touch his face for some odd reason, but he decided against taking action to that desire because it could be considered creepy. Instead, he listened patiently and before long the door opened to reveal the two missing members of the party.

The two introduced themselves as Terezi and Sollux. "Great to meet you!" Terezi said kindly, giving Tavros a light hug.

"You, too," Tavros blushed, still trying to get used to the touchiness of this group. Terezi was a very cute girl, with straight brown hair and eyes hidden behind a pair of sunglasses. There was a smattering of pale freckles across the bridge of her nose. She straightened up for a moment, addressing the rest of the room with an air of annoyance.

"Someone fill in the blind girl. Is this kid as cute as Gamzee said he was?" There were a few positive acclaimations and giggles resonating throughout the room, much to Tavros' embarrassment. However, he didn't hang onto that comment as much as he did the first one.

"You're blind?" he asked dumbly, and Terezi nodded with a lopsided smile.

"As a bat!" she giggled. "So we're like handicap buddies!" she extended her hand for Tavros, and they had high-fived. Tavros had to admit, he was somewhat relieved to know he wasn't the only disabled person there.

The man, Sollux, was a little more reserved but was polite enough. "Nice you meet you," he said kindly, albeit with a subtle lisp. He, too, wore sunglasses, but evidently did not share a visual hindrance with the other girl.

They both shared a little about themselves, revealing that they were a couple and attended the university that Nepeta and Kanaya attended. "Actually, that's where we all met," Sollux spoke up. "In the university. We all used to attend it, until Kar and Gamz dropped out. But we're still all close chums."

Pretty soon they were ready to finally go. Tavros felt nervous all over again, despite the constant assurance that he would easily be brought into the club. Gamzee grabbed the back of his chair and wheeled him out of the secluded hallway and back into the alley outside. The group walked across the street to another darkened alley. Tavros was beginning to wonder if this alley thing was going to be a common occurence.

Elixir ended up being only across the street from the group's hideout. The building it was in was nothing special; a simple brick segment whose front housed a Chinese restaurant. The only evidence that this was more than just a diner was the bouncer standing by the back door, a tall, very buff man with long black hair and sunglasses.

"Hey, Eq!" the group greeted, running up to say hello to their friend.

"This is Tavros!" Nepeta introduced the small amputee to her best friend.

The man had a rather deep, threatening voice that scared Tavros quite a bit even though what he said surely wasn't meant to be intimidating. "Have fun," he said simply, stepping aside to allow the group entrance.

Tavros, with Gamzee pushing him along, were the last to enter. He noticed that Equius' stare seemed to linger him, looking menacing and Tavros wondered if that was his intention. He brushed it off, however, preoccupied by the idea of a dark crowded room filled with strangers. It was like his greatest fear.

* * *

The club itself was like nothing Tavros had seen before. The room was completely dark except for strings of lime green Christmas lights lining the walls, casting a green hue on the whole room. The place reverberated with deep techno music and the room was filled with people, all who were dancing in time to the music. Nepeta, Kanaya, Karkat, Sollux, and Terezi and branched out, talking to people they recognized, dancing, and grabbing a drink from the fully-stocked bar. The only one who stayed with Tavros was Gamzee.

"You can dance if you'd, uh, like," Tavros stuttered, trying to be heard over the music. "Don't wait up for me."

"Only if you come with me!" Tavros was confused for a moment, but was given no time to protest as he was wheeled to the dance floor and Gamzee started moving around to the techno-iness. Tavros felt supremely awkward, not wanting to just sit there but not having the ability to do any sort of actual dancing.

"Just move your arms around!" Gamzee suggested, demonstrating himself. Tavros gave it a try, but felt overtly stupid in the process. Gamzee persisted, trying to force the smaller teen to do _something , _but really wasn't making much progress. After a while, he gave up.

"How about I get you something to motherfucking drink." It was more of a statement than a question, and the violet-eyed man skipped off to the bar, leaving Tavros to wait awkwardly on the dance floor while sweaty people danced on all sides of him.

* * *

_Sorry about the awkward cutoff. This chapter is preposterously longer than my others and I was trying to find a good transition point. I don't want to leave you guys hanging for too long, so I'll update ASAP. The next chapter does involve violence, drugs and alcohol so beware! 3_

_~Ari_


	7. Chapter 7

_I don't do that nipple shit. No sirree-bob. I just can't. I struggle enough with make out scenes already!_

_I mean seriously. "His thumbs moved in circular motions over his nipples, causing the boy beneath him to moan." - the fuck is that?!_

_No._

_~Ari_

* * *

Gamzee came back with a two cups of a clear liquid in his hands. "Knock this down, Tavbro," he shouted over the pounding music.

"I'm too young to drink," Tavros said, looking down in embarrassment. He didn't want to look like a baby but the last thing he wanted was to get arrested tonight for drinking under the legal age. Gamzee, however, insisted he take the drink because it would make him feel like 'a motherfucking miracle.'

Tavros wasn't one to argue so he got over his fears and took the cup. Having learned his lesson from the last time he took an unknown substance from Gamzee, he took light sips, cringing from the sour taste. "What is this?" he asked, trying to get the taste out of his mouth.

"It's just vodka," Gamzee stated. "Just drink it!"

Tavros looked up at his friend for a moment, worry lining his face. "Well, if you say so..." he took the cup and gulped some of the sour liquid down, the stuff burning the back of his throat as it went. He took a few more sips, and once he was used to the taste, Tavros noticed that it was actually pretty good and made him feel nice and warm. Before long, the cup was empty and he found himself requesting more.

"Alright, bro, if you say so," Gamzee shrugged, giving his friend a lopsided grin. "But don't blame me if you throw up or some shit."

"I won't," Tavros laughed, looking up at Gamzee with a daffy grin. '"I got this!"

"Okey-dokes, man," Gamzee laughed, leaving for the bar. He returned with their second round of drinks, and Tavros took his eagerly. He felt a little more self-assured, less awkward. He actually started to move around a little in an attempt to dance. Gamzee noticed, and started to dance beside him.

Tavros was surprised to find himself actually having fun. He thought that the darkened club would be intimidating, but as he grew used to it he liked the green lights, the pulsating music, the heavy crowd of tipsy people. He felt alive, like he could do anything.

So, he was a little disappointed when Gamzee wheeled him off the dance floor. "I want to talk in private," the older boy said in a serious tone, his eyes pleading. "Please?"

"Awwww," Tavros whined, pouting his lip playfully. "I wanna dance!" He pulled on Gamzee's sleeve. "Where are we gooooing?"

"I just want to talk somewhere quieter for a second," Gamzee said, the alcohol seeming to not take effect on him. If fact, he seemed even more coherent than usual. He wheeled the drunken Tavros into a seperate room in the club; an industrial-looking kitchen that lay between the restaurant and Elixir. The lights were on, just were quite dim from lack of use. Gamzee pulled Tavros into the room and stood before him.

Tavros was now curious. He cocked his head to the side, looking up at his serious looking friend. "So what's up, dude?"

Gamzee sighed, looking as though he was struggling to find the right words. "Look, I just...oh, fuck it." Before Tavros had a moment to think, Gamzee was leaning over him, a hand on his thigh and his lips pressed against Tavros'. Tavros gasped, widening his eyes at his friend. He pulled away as much as he could, looking at Gamzee with concern. "Wha-"

"Don't," Gamzee pleaded, looking at him sadly with his violet eyes. "Please." He hesitated a moment, looking for any sort of clue in Tavros' now-coherent eyes but he held no protest. Tavros was caught between wanting to kiss Gamzee again and wanting to go home and hide.

However, Gamzee made the decision for him. Softer this time, he pressed his lips to Tavros, the warm pressure causing both men to blush. Tavros didn't notice, though. He allowed himself to sink into Gamzee's arms as the kiss deepened. The older boy ran his tongue over the younger one's lips, eliciting a moan from the teenager.

This was permission enough as far as Gamzee was concerned. He lifted Tavros from his chair and placed him on the kitchen counter, where he was more readily accessible. He went back in, moving down to lightly bite and kiss Tavros' neck. The bronze-eyed boy wrapped his fingers tightly in Gamzee's hair, trying to hold back any more embarrassing sound effects.

The effort became moot, though, as Gamzee set to work with his pants. He placed a hand over the area, kneading softly at what lay underneath the fabric. Tavros groaned softly, the blush in his cheeks expanding from the heat of the moment and the alcohol. Gamzee moved up again to kiss Tavros, quickening the pace with his hand.

"G-Gam-" Tavros started, but was cut off when Gamzee put his lips back to his own. He shushed the younger boy, closing his eyes and leaning in closer. Tavros gave up, allowing himself to indulge in the moment. He kissed back, with more tenacity than he thought he had in him. He bit at Gamzee's lip playfully, licking the spot subsequently.

"Woah, where'd this come from?" Gamzee chuckled gruffly, opening his eyes to look at the flushed boy. Tavros giggled, looking down. He shrugged his shoulders and pulled Gamzee back in for more.

Gamzee began to fumble with Tavros' belt buckle, keeping his lips firmly planted on the boy's own. Tavros shuddered, rolling his hips into the older man's, increasing the proximity between the two.

Gamzee purred a little, running his hand over Tavros' member, still covered by his boxers. The younger one gasped at the touch, a shiver running up his spine. Gamzee chuckled, pushing Tavros back on the counter further. They adjusted their position with the violet-eyed man leaning over the other on top of the expansive counter, arms on either side of his face as he leaned down to kiss him tenderly. Tavros bucked his hips a little, closing any distance that may have remained between them.

Gamzee dived into Tav's neck, leaving little bites along his jaw. He started to undo the buttons of his shirt, pulling it off himself before getting to work on Tavros'.

As things grew hotter and eager hands explored heated skin, Tavros began to realize just exactly what was happening and where this all was going. Tavros wasn't a prude or anything; he had nothing against the concept of sexuality of the exploring of it thereof, but he had never even kissed someone before that night. He had to admit, the idea of losing his virginity was quite intimidating and honestly frightening. He didn't want to push Gamzee away in fear of hurting his feelings but, god, he just wasn't ready for this.

"Gamzee..." he groaned between kisses, slowly easing his movements. "Maybe we should wait..."

"Why?" Gamzee asked breathily, still nibbling at Tav's neck but slowing down so he could look the other in the eye. "Are you not...?"

"No, no, uh, I just...It's my first time."

"Oh," he replied simply, a look of disappointment in his violet eyes. Nevertheless, Gamzee ceased his exploring hands, planting one more kiss on his lover's lips. "I don't want to make you feel uncomfortable. But, maybe next ti-"

"What are you doing?"

Both Tavros and Gamzee yelped, turning to the entrance of the kitchen for the source of the voice. There stood the bouncer Equius, looking both confused and angered. Tavros shrank back, almost hiding behind Gamzee as he felt Equius' rage directed towards him.

"Gamzee, you know it's against the rules to do such...inappropriate things on the premises," Equius chastised, although his eyes remained on Tavros. Suddenly, the mohawked teen felt very embarrassed, noticing his exposed chest and unbuttoned pants. He quickly grabbed his button-down and put it on hastily, blushing madly all the while.

"Aw, I knoooow," Gamzee moaned, lazily pulling his own clothing back on. "But just look at this little motherfucker. I couldn't help myself." Gamzee smiled down at Tavros, planting a little kiss on the tip of his nose.

"That's...Okay. Just, don't do it here again. Ever. I should be kicking you out but as you are my friend I'll let you off with a warning." Equius finally removed his gaze from Tavros, making him feel as though a huge weight had been lifted from his chest. Tavros automatically sighed from the relieved pressure. The bouncer instead directed his chastising eyes to Gamzee. "Next time, I won't let you off so easily," he warned.

Gamzee stood up slowly, stretching out his muscles. "Relax, brother. It's not that big of a deal."

"For me it is," Equius defended, furrowing his brow. "It's my job on the line. If my boss catches me allowing people to have intercourse in the kitchen I'll be fired."

"Then don't let them find out!" Gamzee let out a booming laugh. "Well, we'll get outta your hair, Eq. Have fun bouncing or whatever you motherfucking do. Come on, Tavbro."

Gamzee helped Tavros up off the counter, positioning the teen in his wheelchair. He pushed himself along behind Gamzee as they exited the kitchen. Tavros could feel Equius' eyes on the back of his head, looking at him with a red-hot anger. He was embarrassed; this was terrible first impression to make on someone. He didn't want this guy to see him as a whore or something. Tavros swallowed his fear and decided the best thing he could do to redeem himself was apologize. He flipped his chair around, so he could face the bouncer.

"Hi, uh, I'm really sorry about all that...Ah!" Tavros cringed as Equius wrapped his hand tightly around Tav's arm, squeezing painfully. "What are you doing?"

"It's going to take more than an apology," the larger man growled, tightening his grip further and eliciting a cry from the cripple.

The look in the bouncer's eyes alone was enough to make Tavros very, very afraid.

* * *

_I'm really sorry for making Equius a bad guy. Someone had to do it, though, and he was the only logical character. You'll soon find out why._


	8. Chapter 8

_I've been really conflicted as to whether or not I should post this chapter. It's a little brutal and I must warn you, there is rape. I'd like to apologize to all Equius fans out there. But please don't think I'm not on your side. He's my patron troll so I love him to death. But someone had to be the antagonist, and Equius just seemed to make the most sense. So again, please be prudent when approaching this chapter because there is rape. There's a reason why this fic is rated M, you know. _

_I love you all dearly_

_~Ari_

* * *

_Why?_

That was the only question running through Tavros' mind as the heavy bouncer heaved upon him, pinning him to the cold kitchen floor as he screamed out in pain. There was no answer. Nobody could hear Tavros; probably because of the loud music pumping from the next room.

So, Tavros was completely alone and defenseless as Equius thrusted into him over and over again, shouting insults and obscenities as he went. Tears streamed down Tavros' cheeks and his throat burned from crying out. He couldn't think of anything he might have done to deserve this. He didn't even know his attacker. He hadn't spoken any more than a few words to Equius. What could he have possibly done to anger him so much?

Time seemed to slow down, leaving Tavros fully aware of every single moment, every single thrust inwards, every single cry of pain and every single venomous insult thrown at him. The words no longer held meaning, they were blurred together into a mist of hatred that stung Tavros like a thousand daggers.

"He's mine. _He's mine," _the bouncer growled to Tavros, digging his sharp nails painfully into the younger boy's small arm. "_He's mine." _

Tavros' throat became so raw that he found he could no longer cry for help. "Who?" he wanted to ask, "Who is yours?" He choked back a strangled sob, whimpering and cursing whatever entity fated him to this and asked why, why, _why _ did he have no legs, no way to escape?

He was left to just lay there and wait for this agony to be over.

Please be over soon, he silently prayed. Please, please, please...

After what felt like hours, Equius heaved one last time into the boy and finally lifted himself from him, relieving the strangling pressure of his weight from Tavros' thin body. The bouncer got dressed quickly and left the kitchen wordlessly, entering the club once again as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't done this terrible thing.

Tavros was left alone of the cold hard floor, naked and unable to lift himself up. He laid there for a moment, silent tears streaming down his face and the cries of help he wanted so desperately to release stuck in the back of his raw throat. He wrapped his arms around himself tightly, craving some semblance of warmth and comfort that no one was present to provide.

He felt stabbing pain in every inch of his body, he felt sick to his stomach, he felt violated, but most of all, he felt so utterly, terribly dirty. He wanted to scrub his skin raw just to relieve himself of the memory of the bouncer on top of him. He moaned softly to himself, still unable to form any coherent words.

As Tavros lay there, he heard the door to the kitchen click open. Expecting his attacker to have returned, Tavros folded into himself, whispering, "No, please...leave me alone..."

"What?" The voice did not belong to the bouncer. It was Karkat, one of Gamzee's friends. The petite brunette surveyed the scene, looking utterly confused. He had heard banging going on in the kitchen a while ago, and had come to check it out. At first he though Tavros and Gamzee had been together in there, having observed the two entered the kitchen an hour or so ago, and seeing the discarded clothes thrown precariously about the room.

But then he saw Tavros.

The boy was completely naked and in the fetal position under a cabinet, shivering and his face wet with tears.

"Oh no," Kakat breathed. "Oh god, oh god oh god." He rushed over to Tavros, helping him to sit up. He took off his own sweater and draped it over the boy's thin and shivering shoulders, covering him up. "Who" Karkat asked, his voice cracking. "Oh, god. Did...did Gamzee...?" Even as the words left his mouth, Karkat knew this wasn't the case. He knew Gamzee, hell, the asshole was his best friend. Gamzee would never do something so vile. He would never attack someone, especially someone as helpless as the crumpled heap in front of him.

"No," Tavros responded, shaking his head fitfully and choking back his tears. "No. Equius..."

"Fuck," Karkat whispered, shaking his own head. Not him. It couldn't be. He was friends with Equius. But, god, who else would have done this? He knew the guy was unstable, and he had a crush on Gamzee...Fuck, what if he saw Tavros as a threat?

Karkat ran a hand through his brown hair. He couldn't think of anything he could possibly say to comfort the bronze-eyed boy, nothing that could take back what had happened to him. Instead, he wrapped his arms tightly around Tavros, rubbing his back gently and rocking back and forth. "Sssh," Karkat whispered softly, his mind filled with questions he couldn't ask. At least, not yet.

The two stayed like that for a long while, Tavros curled into the older man and grasping the sweater around him as if it were the only thing keeping him alive. The room was utterly silent save for the now forgotten pump of music coming through the walls and the soothing shushes coming from Karkat's quivering lips.

Tavros mumbled something under his breath, too low to be understood. "What was that?" Karkat asked quietly, still rocking the boy in his arms.

Tavros spoke up as much as he could, his voice still scratchy. "Don't tell Gamzee. Please."

"But-!" Karkat began to protest, but cut himself off. He felt like he understood the odd request. If Gamzee were to find out what Equius did, he would seek retribution in the most brutal way possible. And that _never _turned out well. "Okay. I won't, I...I promise."

Tavros looked up at the man with bloodshot bronze eyes. "Thank you," he whispered.

Karkat did not respond. There was nothing to say that couldn't be expressed through their eyes. Instead, he held the boy tighter for a moment and finally stood up, picking up the discarded garments.

He helped Tavros get dressed and into his wheelchair. "Are you sure you want to go back out there?" Karkat asked, his brow furrowed in concern. "I can take you through the back and drive you home."

Tavros nodded quickly, drying his eyes of the cuff of his shirt. "I'm sure," he said with a sense of finality in his shaking voice. "Everyone's probably wondering where I am."

Behind that determination in his eyes, Karkat saw just how broken the boy truly was. And that broke his heart more than anything ever had.


	9. Chapter 9

Acting was not one of Tavros' strong suits. One need only look at his face to know exactly what he was thinking, like an anime character. Most of the time, the quirk was cute and endearing, if only a minor annoyance to Tavros himself. But that night, as he exited that terrible kitchen alongside Karkat, he hoped to god that his face was unreadable. This was one thing he hoped to not unintentionally reveal.

Karkat stopped him one final time, laying a concerned hand on the younger boy's shoulder. "You don't have to do this," Karkat whispered, his eyes pleading. "You don't owe this to anybody. I can take you back home right now if you want."

"No..." Tavros said quietly, his voice shaking. "I need to do this. I don't want to alarm anyone by disappearing."

Karkat shrugged his shoulders, still eyeing the boy silently. It seemed to be no use arguing with him. He didn't seem to care at all about his own health; it was all about other people. It was a trait Karkat had never really understood. He was a firm believer in watching out for yourself and you only because all other people ever did was hurt you. Shouldn't Tavros have realized that by now? And yet, even under such terrifying circumstances, he was putting himself after others.

Regardless, Tavros gripped Karkat's hand as they began their short trek to the night club's main room. The two could only hope that the bouncer was not present.

* * *

Gamzee was not, as a rule, very observant. Even so, he could still see how shaken up Tavros appeared as he finally showed up, holding Karkat's hand. It occurred to Gamzee how strange this was, especially as the two had just met. Neither of the men were particularly sociable, anyway. Plus, Tavros' worried exterior was somewhat out of place, and Gamzee wondered if this had anything to do with him and what they were doing in the kitchen earlier.

A pang of guilt spread through Gamzee's chest. Was Tavros upset over that? Had he not wanted to be with Gamzee, but was too soft spoken to express his hesitancy? Oh man, Gamzee thought to himself, had he just forced Tavros to do things he didn't want to do? But he had seemed so comfortable, and into it...fuck. Gamzee shook his head, blowing air from his mouth slowly. He would talk to the kid about it later, when they were alone. Then he could clear things up.

"Hey, buddies," he greeted the two as they approached. Gamzee figured that, at least for now, he'd keep having fun. They'd be leaving soon, anyway. Perhaps the younger was just unused to the club setting. "What have you guys been up to?"

"Karkat was showing me the bathroom," Tavros spoke up. Something in his eyes told Gamzee that this wasn't exactly the truth, but he didn't press him further.

The three tried to make the most of the remainder of the evening, sipping drinks and dancing, albeit halfheartedly. The music continued to pump rhythmically with happy beats and lyrics as the group went on dancing, talking to people and doing what they did. It wasn't long until Gamzee had completely forgotten his concern for Tavros and was back to having a great time. He became unaware of the subtle signs of Tavros' discomfort, which Tavros really did not mind. He was glad the man was not overtly analytical in these matters. He just hoped he would remain in his stupor on the ride home.

Eventually, the group caught up with the other members of their original party who seemed to be having a great time themselves. Everyone was flushed and sweaty and had big grins of their faces and they moved in time to the music. "Hey, guys!" Terezi shouted above the music, still moving her hips to the rhythm.

"How are you liking Elixir?" Sollux asked, turning to look at Tavros. "Pretty sweet, eh?"

"Yeah," Tavros replied, doing his best to fake a grin. "It's great."

"We should take you here more often!" Nepeta purred, winking at Tavros.

"Sure," the small noirette responded. "That'd be great."

After a while, the group finally decided they were ready to head home. Tavros breathed a sigh of relief when this was mentioned, but froze as he realized they would have to go through the front door. The door Equius was guarding. Karkat seemed to notice his discomfort and helped him out. "Let's go out through the back door," Karkat said nonchalantly. "The walk back to the cars will be shorter that way."

The wasn't much protest. They changed directions, heading for the more isolated doorway. Tavros looked up at Karkat, smiling in thanks. Karkat nodded, a softness to his usually hard and cold eyes. It wasn't long before everyone had said their goodbyes, making plans to meet up again soon and so on, and were all in their own cars.

Now that the setting was quieter and more personal, Gamzee once again saw how visibly apprehensive Tavros was. The boy was sitting in the front passenger seat, biting his lower lip hard as he stared straight ahead.

Gamzee turned his head, looking at Tavros with concern. "You've been acting weird ever since you left the kitchen," he stated simply as he drove.

"Oh," Tavros replied quietly, looking down at his hands. "I'm sorry."

Gamzee sighed. "No, don't be sorry. Just...God, I don't know how to fucking say this. Are you sad because of me?"

Tavros looked up in surprise, his mouth hanging open a little bit. "What? No!-"

"No, really, please. Be honest. If I did something wrong or I made you uncomfortable or any of that, please tell me. I, uh, I actually care about you a lot." Gamzee paused, looking at Tavros full on. "So please be honest with me."

"I'm not lying," Tavros said quietly, his eyes wide as he looked at Gamzee. "You did nothing wrong. I really care about you, too, and I had a great time tonight. I'm just tired, that's all." He looked back down. "It's been a long day."

"There's something you're not telling me." Gamzee reached over, carefully grabbing one of Tavros' petite hands. "Something happened."

Tavros breathed in shakily, unable to hold it in much longer. "Can we please just not talk about it right now, Gamzee? I'm sorry."

"Woah," Gamzee breathed as he saw tears roll down Tavros' flushed cheeks. "I'm sorry, did I say something? Look, I'll just get you home..."

Tavros nodded fervently, holding his breath. He'd blown it. He'd been doing fine for the past few hours, but now he'd cracked. The feeling of Equius on top of him returned and he felt like he was going to throw up. Suddenly he felt like he couldn't be alone. He was too scared. "C-can I stay at your house tonight?" he whispered, resting his head on the dash.

"Uh, sure," Gamzee said, squeezing his hand. "Whatever you need. I'm here for you, bro."

"Thanks." The rest of the ride home was completely silent, Gamzee's mind flooding with questions. But he would just have to wait and provide whatever comfort he could to the bronze-eyed boy beside him.

* * *

Gamzee didn't even bother trying the elevator once they arrived at the apartment complex. He simply lifted Tavros on his back and carried the boy up the stairs. He found it to take less time than the rickety old machine anyway. He carried the boy into his own apartment and laid him on the familiar couch.

"Do you want me to get you a change of clothes or a blanket or anything?" he asked, leaning over the boy in concern.

"Actually, can I take a bath? That's all I really want right now..." The boy looked down in embarrassment.

"Yeah, of course, bro," Gamzee replied, shuffling around to find a towel. "Uh...You don't...you wouldn't need any help, would you?" His face turned bright crimson at the thought.

"Not really. I can take care of that myself." Gamzee shrugged, picking the younger boy up again and helping him to the bathroom.

"Everything's in here and if you need anything, just call, okay?" Gamzee said, rubbing the boy's shoulder assuredly for a moment before leaving him to his own devices.

Tavros got undressed and lifted himself into the tub, focusing on the soothing feeling of the warm water on his goosebump riddled skin. He breathed deeply, focusing on the sensation and tried to erase the feel of the bouncer, get rid of any trace of him still lingering on his skin. Tavros took a sponge and scrubbed himself diligently until his skin reddened.

Still, it didn't feel like enough. Nothing would ever be enough. A feeling of hopeless dread sunk to the bottom on Tavros' stomach. It seemed to him that no matter what he did, he could never erase what Equius had done from his mind. He still couldn't understand why the man had even done it. Tavros had done nothing to hurt him.

And yet, the man kept repeating "He's mine." Oh. Oh, no. Tavros sat up. He suddenly realized what that had meant. Equius had seen Tavros and Gamzee together. He must have had feelings for the tall man and when he saw Tavros, he got angry.

Tavros sank back in the tub, the realization hitting him like a pound of bricks. It all made sense now, or at least as much as it could.

Tavros didn't even try to hold back his tears anymore. He didn't care if Gamzee could hear him cry. Every single little moment hit him all at once, the weight of the day hung on his shoulders. But there was nothing he could ever do to take it back, and now he knew that it was all his fault.


	10. Chapter 10

Tavros took his time in the bath, letting his hot tears mix with the water, picturing each as a little part of his worries. He tried to focus on happy memories, like when his older sister would play Neverland with him.

The game was one that the two had thought of themselves when Tavros was 5 and Valeria, his older sister, was 8. The rules were simplistic; you simply ran around the woods behind their childhood home and imagined that you were in Neverland. Tavros always asked to be Peter, and Valeria tended to switch between Tigerlily and Tinkerbell, who she liked because the little fairy was 'tenacious,' as the girl would say. It would be years before Tavros understood what she meant by that, but the boy would always nd as though he understood, not wanting to appear dumb before his clever older sister.

It was one of the few things that Tavros loved about his childhood, playing Neverland in the backyard with his sister. He wished he could go back to that time, when life was so simple and easy and the most difficult decision he made was when to take a nap or play with legos. He missed the innocence of childhood. Now, he felt disgusting and unclean, like a whore.

Tavros shook the thought off. He couldn't think about things like that. He wouldn't allow himself. It only made his trembling worse. Instead, he lifted himself from the tub, struggling to get a towel and place himself back in his wheelchair. As he left the bathroom, he didn't even care about the redness around his eyes or the tracks of salty tears on his cheeks. He just wanted to sleep and forget about everything.

Gamzee, however, took notice to the boy's worsened condition. "Let me help you," he said in as quiet a voice as possible, not wanting to alarm his little friend. He grabbed an extra shirt and pajama pants from his bureau and gave it to Tavros. "You can wear this if you'd like."

Tavros took the garments wordlessly, still not looking at his tall neighbor. He nodded his head in thanks, and went back in the bathroom to dress himself. Gamzee waited outside of the room in agitation, wanting to help his friend but not sure how. It was very clear that _something _happened. Something really bad. And the more he observed, the more Gamzee thought that whatever that something was, it happened after he left the kitchen. Gamzee didn't want to press the issue right now, though. Perhaps the best he could do was just be there for Tavros.

Soon, the mohawked boy was dressed and out of the bathroom. His eyes were still red-rimmed and lined with purple from exhaustion. "Let's go to bed," Gamzee said soothingly, picking up the younger man and carrying him into his bedroom. Tavros showed no reaction, just complied to the older one's actions wordlessly. The silence continued even as Gamzee got undressed himself and changed into his pajamas, turned off the light, and got under the covers beside Tavros.

The two laid in silence, and soon Gamzee thought Tavros must have fallen asleep but soon he felt the bronze-eyed boy grab his arm tightly beneath the covers. "Hold me," he whispered. He sounded so young and afraid, like a little boy who was afraid of the dark. Gamzee gulped, feeling so terrible for the poor boy beside him and wishing so desperately there was something he could do.

This is what I can do right now, he thought to himself as he turned over on the bed, enveloping Tavros in his long arms.

Tavros came in closer, embracing the warm, comforting pressure of Gamzee's body. The feeling was enough to calm him down, at least a little. He felt much safer and was finally able to close his eyes and drift off to sleep to the sound of Gamzee's breath.

* * *

_The kitchen was cold, so cold Tavros felt like he could almost see his own breath. He hugged his arms around himself, burying his fingers under his arms to keep them from freezing. He had no idea how he had gotten there or why he was there at all. _

_He took a look around, noticing the icy metallic feel of the room. Everything about it was cold and industrial. The kind of place you would never just hang out in. It reminded Tavros of a school cafeteria __kitchen, with its oversized oven and appliances, monstrous refrigerators in the corners. Something about the silvery atmosphere was menacing and dark. _

_Tavros thought he was alone. He jumped when he heard the sound of breathing behind him. "I told you not to come back," a deep, cruel voice called. Tavros looked around fitfully, looking for the source of the voice._

_"H-hello?" He called out shakily. _

_"I told you he was mine." Suddenly, Equius came through the door, looking even more intimidating and forbidding than before. He walked up quickly to Tavros, pushing him against the icy cold wall with a thud. _

_Tavros yelped, raising his hands to protect himself from the tall bouncer. "Please," he cried, voice cracking. "Don't hurt me."_

_The older man simply laughed, and pushing Tavros harder against the wall. Tavros cried out in protest, tried to fight back. But soon the bouncer bore down on him, forcing him to the floor and removing articles of clothing._

_"Please, not again," Tavros screamed, but Equius did not listen. He tried to call out for help, but no one came._

_The bouncer pinned him down with enough force to bruise his skin. Tavros kicked out wildly, hoping to somehow get Equius off of him but it was to no avail. He was considerably weaker than his attacker. There was nothing he could do..._

* * *

Tavros cried out desperately in his sleep, incoherent exclamations pouring from his mouth as his legs and arms thrashed around, nearly hitting Gamzee right on the face. The shaggy hair man sat up quickly and grabbed the boy, trying desperately to get him to calm down.

"Tavros!" he called, shaking the boy's shoulders. "Wake up!" He pinned him down, trying to stop the teen from hurting himself or Gamzee. "It's just a dream!"

"No!" Tavros cried, eyes still closed in sleep. "Ungh...why...please...no..." He was starting to calm down, the paroxysmal movements slowing down to a shuddering whimper.

Gamzee grabbed Tav's cheek, slapping it lightly in hopes that he would awaken from whatever terrible nightmare he was experiencing. Soon enough, the boy came to, opening his eyes but still shaking. At first he look confused and frightened, looking around the dark room wildly until his eyes focused on Gamzee. He visibly calmed down.

"Oh..." he moaned, turning to his side and grabbing his stomach. "It was a dream."

"What happened?" Gamzee asked, wrapping his arms around Tavros and rocking back and forth soothingly.

Tavros shook his head lightly. "It doesn't matter," he whispered. "I'm just glad you're here."

"Oh," Gamzee answered, feeling puzzled. He didn't bother with pressing the issue. "I'm glad I'm here too, bro." He planted a small kiss on Tavros' forehead.

Tavros smiled up at Gamzee, albeit sadly. He snuggled closer to him, resting his head on Gamzee's chest. The two laid like that, in complete silence, until morning. Neither could fall back asleep or wanted to. It was enough just to have each other and Tavros was very grateful for the source of comfort.

He was still feeling sick over the dream.


	11. Chapter 11

_Please pardon my delay in updating. I promise that I have not abandoned this story! I've just had a lot of obligations and homework and appointments and stuff so I really haven't had much time to myself. Even now, I'm putting off some theology homework for the sake of finally writing this chapter. I do hope you enjoy it, though as of now I'm not really sure what direction to take it. I've thought about this story a lot recently and I do have a few ideas, but I'm not really sure how to execute them._

_Also, I'm in the process of creating a Dave and John story with a yet-to-be-revealed twist that I think you will all like. Please check it out when I post it, which will probably be in the next few days. _

_Regardless, I hope this is enjoyable for you all! Please leave me some reviews, comments, suggestions and all that lovely stuff :) Feedback is what really makes this worthwhile. _

_~Ari_

* * *

The following morning was met with an awkward yet relieved tension from both Tavros and Gamzee. Neither wanted to discuss the events of last night, Gamzee wanting to spare Tavros' emotions and Tavros himself not wanting to reveal anything from the incidents at the club.

And yet, with a new day before them, there was a sense of relief, a feeling that the previous night was nothing but a faded memory. Tavros could almost picture the whole thing being some awful dream, painful yet forgettable. He sat at Gamzee's worn wooden breakfast table, wrapped warmly in an oversized sweatshirt that still smelled like Gamzee - apples and cigarette smoke-,sipping from a cup of hot tea provided by his tall neighbor.

Said neighbor was currently sitting across from Tavros, looking sleepy yet serene as he took big bites from his oatmeal. "Are you feeling better?" he asked warmly, his voice gravelly from sleep.

Tavros nodded, a small smile gracing his pink face. "A lot. Thanks for everything," he said, holding up his cup. "I really needed it."

"You can stay over any time, bro," Gamzee responded, reaching over the table to affectionately pat Tavros' slender shoulder. "It's a lot more fun to sleep here with a motherfucking cuddle buddy." Tavros blushed, hiding his face behind the cup. But really, the idea of more frequent sleepovers were becoming more appealing to him. The more he got to know Gamzee, the more he realized how much he truly liked him and, well, after what happened between them in the kitchen, it was clear Gamzee felt the same way.

They spent the remainder of the morning at that table, talking a about the little things and avoiding anything to do with club Elixir. It was all very light and pleasant. Eventually, however, Tavros realized he had some errands left to run. "I need to go," he told his friend. "I gotta go to the grocery store and stuff."

"Well, how about I come with you?" the older man asked jovially, already standing up. "I can push the cart around for ya!"

Tavros felt flattered. "Well, if you really want to..."

* * *

It certainly was a lot easier to shop with someone helping out, Tavros thought to himself as he wheeled next to Gamzee, reading off an item from his list every so often. Usually, he would have to get an electric scooter thing with a basket so he could carry his food, and that alone would take forever, what with all the work put into transferring from the wheelchair to the scooter. Not to mention how eager Gamzee was to help out. Tavros practically did nothing, just watched as his tall friend bounced from aisle to aisle. The whole process only took twenty or so minutes by the time they were at the checkout counter.

"Hello, did you find everything you needed?" the teenage girl behind the counter asked, a pleasant and practiced smile on her face. Tavros nodded, smiling back as he took out his wallet.

The girl looked between Tavros and Gamzee, a knowing smile replacing her previous expression. Tavros looked at her curiously, but continued on, paying for the groceries. Once the transaction was completed, he wheeled out of the checkout aisle before Gamzee, sticking a few of the bags on his lap. He turned to the girl at the counter whisper something to Gamzee, causing the older man to blush.

"What was that?" he asked as the two made their way across the parking lot.

"Oh, the chick at the counter just told me how cute you were." Gamzee laughed when the teenager blushed crimson. "Relax, bro. It's totally true. You look so little in that sweatshirt."

"Oh..." Tavros mumbled, remembering that he was still wearing Gamzee's pajamas that dwarfed him even further. He already looked a lot younger than he was, and with this preposterous outfit, people probably thought he was Gamzee's little brother as opposed to...well, whatever they were.

"Don't be embarrassed," Gamzee giggled as he took the bags from his lap and stuck them in the back of his truck.

The younger boy frowned at his friend. "Easy for you to say."

* * *

The car trip home was only a few minutes, the time spent listening to music from the radio. The pleasant silence was soon interrupted, however, when Gamzee's cellphone went off.

The tall man frowned at the screen. "It's my mother's ringtone."

Tavros looked at him curiously. "Is everything okay?"

"No, it's just...She hasn't called me in three years. Something big is probably up." Tavros shifted in his seat, unsure of how to respond. It was true; Gamzee never brought up his family. But surely his mom wasn't that absent from his life? Tavros thought of his own mother. He hadn't called her since last Tuesday.

"You should answer," he whispered as Gamzee stared at his cellphone screen.

"Oh, uh, yeah," Gamzee muttered, looking confused. He held the thing up to his ear, clearing his throat. "Hello?"

There was a pause, and Gamzee swallowed, his face stony. "Oh," he said gruffly. "Uh...Should I go there?..."

There was another long pause. Gamzee took a breath breath before saying," Yeah, I understand, mom. Okay. Bye." He shut the phone off, turning back to the road and starting his car wordlessly.

Tavros coughed, hoping to break the silence. "What did your mom say?" he asked timidly.

"My brother, Kurloz. There was an accident. So... he's gonna come over and stay with me for awhile. To recover."

* * *

_Oh sweet niblets this chapter is painfully short. Gosh I'm so sorry . please don't be mad. Ugh good gracious I want to make it longer but I don't want to feed in this whole thing too much._

_^^^^Okay that sentence makes no sense. Sorry..._


	12. Chapter 12

_It's taken me quite a bit of time to write this chapter. I just haven't been sure of where to take it. I know I want something exciting to happen with Kurloz, but I need some build up. I don't know, man. Writing is tough sometimes._

_~Ari_

* * *

"What kind of accident?"

Tavros shifted uncomfortably in the front seat of Gamzee's truck as they eased through traffic. Gamzee stared straight ahead at the rode, his gaze steady and unmoving as he appeared deep in troubled thought. Tavros watched him carefully. After a moment, the older man finally responded with, "I don't know for sure. Mom said he damaged his vocal cords. I don't know what that means."

"Oh." Tavros couldn't think of any other way to respond. "I'm sorry." The rest of the ride home was met with an eerie, foreboding silence that seemed to last much longer than the car ride itself.

The following day, Gamzee's brother arrived.

* * *

Kurloz was nothing like Tavros would have expected him to be.

The man was 24 years old, 3 years his brother's senior and yet was considerably smaller than Gamzee. As Gamzee was well over 6 feet, Kurloz couldn't have been any taller than 5'9. Like his brother, he had a lean yet built frame, pale ashy skin, and sparse freckles. His hair was an even bigger curly black mess than Gamzee's and his petite lips had a haunting, sad smile placed on them. Most surprising of all was his eyes. They were a very pale blue, nearly transparent.

Tavros introduced himself to Kurloz when he arrived that morning. Tavros had been waiting for his arrival at Gamzee's house so he could help his neighbor get his brother settled. He had to admit, though; he was very curious to see Gamzee's relative. He was such a distinct person that it was hard to think of there being someone else like him, even if that extended only to genetics. "My name is Tavros," he greeted warmly, extending a hand to the man. "I'm Gamzee's next-door neighbor."

Kurloz simply smiled, taking the young boy's hand in his own and shaking it. He did not saying anything. Instead, he reached into the pocket of his black jeans and took out a small notebook and a pen and began writing. After a moment, he held up the pad so both Gamzee and Tavros could read it:

_I can't talk. Nice to meet you. I'm Kurloz._

Tavros smiled at the man, though couldn't help but feel sorry for him. He only just then noticed the bandages that covered his throat, hidden behind his black turtleneck. He wondered what kind of accident it could have been.

"Aw, man," Gamzee whispered, just noticing the cloths himself. He moved forward, pulling down the turtleneck to get a better look. Kurloz looked down, shifting uncomfortably with the awkward silence. Gamzee's mouth smoothed into a thin straight line as he inspected the wrappings. He didn't ask what had happened, but looked. "Kurloz."

His older brother finally shifted his gaze, finally looking his brother. He took out his pad once again and wrote something down. He showed his writing to Gamzee in a way that it was concealed from Tavros' vision, whether on purpose or accidental, Tavros did not know.

"Are you motherfucking serious?" Gamzee said quietly, taking a step back. Kurloz nodded curtly, looking sadly at his younger brother. "How is that even possible?"

Kurloz moved his shoulders up to show that he didn't know, and took a step around Gamzee and into the living room. He put his bags on the couch and sat down. He took out his pad again and began writing.

_So are you dating or-?_

Gamzee started coughing, turning around to conceal his facial expression. Tavros blushed a high shade of crimson and tried to speak. "We-wha-uh-No!"

Kurloz laughed, his pale eyes crinkling. He shook his head, writing again.

_It's cool. I don't care. _

Gamzee turned back around, looking at Tavros awkwardly. Tavros shrugged his shoulders, implying that he really didn't know what the answer was. He was honestly curious as to whether they were, in fact, dating. The subject hadn't been brought up yet.

"We're uh..." Gamzee started, but trailed off. He shrugged at his brother, blushing himself. "I dunno."

Kurloz nodded in understanding. He chuckled again, and stood back up. He gestured to his bags and wrote.

_So where should I put my stuff?_

"Oh, right," Gamzee stepped over to the couch, taking a bag in his arms. "You can sleep in my room if you want. I'll take the couch." Gamzee left the room, leaving for his bedroom to set up his brother's bags.

Tavros was left to sit with Kurloz. He felt a little uncomfortable, not wanting to spark conversation as he didn't want to put Kurloz through the trouble of writing down everything he had to say.

However, the man began scribbling on his notepad again, turning it up so Tavros could read it.

_How old are you? _

"Oh!...I'm 18," Tavros stuttered, blushing at his incoherence. Kurloz nodded.

_You look younger._

"Yeah...I know," Tavros responded. Of course, he knew that. He was already very slight and short for his age, and with the addition of being wheelchair-bound for nine years, his muscles weren't very developed. He had the frame of a much younger boy. Everyone always assumed he was 14 or 15. Still, he was a little embarrassed by the man's remark though it seemed to hold no condescension.

A few moments passed in silence. Tavros chewed his thumbnail, trying not to stare at the tall man sitting across from him. There was something about his calmness, his faint smile, his pale eyes that just seemed so peculiar. Not wrong or bad so to say, just strange.

Then again, he was related to Gamzee. Peculiarity probably ran in the family. Big hair, too.

Kurloz put pen to paper again, writing;

_College?_

Tavros shook his head no. "Not right now. I'm working, though, right now," he answered meekly. "College really isn't right for me."

Kurloz asked him about his job, and he explained that he currently worked weekdays in a local bookstore as a cashier. His disabilities made it difficult to do much at his job, but he did what he could and the pay was pretty good. Kurloz didn't seem condescending over his lack of higher education, choosing to write out shortly that he worked as a host at a restaurant back home. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to do it anymore, with his voice not working.

"I'm sorry," Tavros said quietly. He felt bad for the older man, knowing how it felt to be set back by a disability. He couldn't imagine living without a voice, though. It must have been especially tough, since it had happened so suddenly. Tavros wondered again what could possibly have happened, but refrained from asking.

"Aight," Gamzee called, emerging from his bedroom. "Everything's put away now. What do you guys want to do?" He mussed his thick black hair, sighing. Tavros noticed the dark circles under his eyes. He probably hadn't slept that night.

Kurloz held up his pad.

_Lunch?_

The man emphasized the note, rubbing his stomach.

"Whatever you want, bro," Gamzee responded, already grabbing his jumper and heading for the door.

Tavros figured he would let the two have their privacy and relax in his own house, but the brothers had different ideas. "You're coming, kiddo," Gamzee stated matter-of-factly, already grabbing the back of his chair. "How's ihop sound?"


	13. Chapter 13

_Holy buckets! This story has 31 followers :) that's so cool. Thank you all so much for putting up with my crappy writing and lack of editing. You're all so cool. Can I please just kiss your faces? No? Okay..._

_Also, I made a miscalculation. I forgot about Rufioh entirely. I don't know how, but I did. And I was going to make Tav's sister a genderbend but then I realized I've already named her Valeria. **Please take note that Valeria is the gender-bent version of Rufioh. **To make up for this fuckup, her nickname will be Rufi. I'm really sorry for my stupidity. _

_Well, love you all so much and please enjoy this chapter!_

_~Ari_

* * *

There's nothing that lightens the mood better than syrup-slathered buttermilk pancakes, bacon, and coffee. Tavros and the Makaras made their way to the IHOP in the city, all piling into Gamzee's truck for the rather short drive. Tavros sat in the cramped backseat behind Kurloz and Gamzee, who talked quietly about their lives. Apparently, the two had not seen each other in years. At least, not since Gamzee was 16. And that was nearly 5 years ago. Tavros wondered what it would be like to not see his sister for 5 years. He couldn't really picture it, as the two had always been particularly close. Even after the accident, they were close. However, it had been nearly a month since he had last talked to her. Tavros reminded himself to call home later that week or something.

When they got to the IHOP, they were brought to their table by a cute waitress with long blonde hair and big brown eyes. She cheerily introduced herself as Amber and took their drink orders. Tavros noticed her eyeing Kurloz curiously, and being extra polite when she took his order.

"So what'll you have, hun?" she asked, smiling at the man.

Kurloz scribbled on his pad, holding it up to the waitress.

_Black coffee, please._

Amber blinked at him for a second in confusion, but quickly recovered. "Sure thing! I'll be right back out to get you boys your breakfast." She took another glance at Kurloz, biting her lip softly and smiling. Kurloz smiled back at her, looking a little dazed.

"Blondie's got a thing for you," Gamzee commented, nudging his older brother playfully. Kurloz laughed quietly, pushing his brother back. He wrote;

_Can't help it, man. I get bitches everywhere I go. Jealous?_

"Nah, bro. I'm good." Gamzee looked directly at Tavros and winked. Tavros blushed crimson, burying his face in the plastic menu. However, Kurloz took notice of the gesture and wiggled his eyebrows at his brother.

_I knew there was something going on between you!_

Gamzee just snorted, shaking his head and bringing his attention back to his menu. "Let's not worry about that now. I'm definitely having the Colorado omelette. That motherfucker looks hella."

Kurloz held up his pad.

_Lucky bastard. Not allowed to eat hard food until my throat heals. Who knows when that'll be. Til then, it's all about that oatmeal._

"Man, that sucks," Gamzee frowned, looking once again at the mostly-concealed bandages on his brother's neck. Kurloz shrugged meekly, pulling up his turtleneck to cover the bandages entirely. Gamzee paused, then finally turned back to Tavros. "What looks good?"

"Oh!" Tavros responded automatically. "I-uh, I always get the blueberry pancakes..."

"That's adorable as hell," Gamzee exclaimed, reaching over the table to pinch Tavros' pink cheek. Just then, Amber returned with their drinks and took notice of the action.

She smiled at Tavros and winked. Why was everyone winking at him?! This is getting weird, Tavros thought to himself and he took a sip of his hot chocolate.

"Enjoy your meals, boys," Amber said politely, her eyes still running between Gamzee and Tavros. She seemed to be having one hell of a field day inspecting the three at that table.

The group ordered their food, and it came out of the kitchens soon afterwards. Everything was really good, and Tavros felt a lot better than he had the previous few days. Nothing put you in a good mood faster than greasy fat yummy food. Everything became lighter, tensions eased as the food disappeared from the plates into peoples' bellies.

Pretty soon everyone was finished. They payed the bill and got back into Gamzee's truck, bellies full. "Brooooo, my food baby is so happy right now." Gamzee grabbed his stomach with one hand while driving with the other.

_So what now? _Kurloz held up his sign, and turned around so Tavros could see as well. Tavros shrugged his shoulders, happy to do whatever they were up to. He looked to Gamzee for any suggestions.

"I dunno, wanna just chill at home for a while? Maybe nap off all that omelette?" The car seemed to agree, and the trio headed for the apartment complex again.

They rode the rickety elevator up to the second floor, and Gamzee dug through his pocket for his house key. He took it out, and unlocking the door, ushered the other two inside, Kurloz pushing Tavros' wheelchair.

"Thanks again," Tavros said meekly, feeling bad for asserting such burden on someone he just met. Kurloz nodded politely, smiling.

"Nap time!" Gamzee exclaimed, already yawning and running a large hand through his thick black hair. "I'm gonna lay on the couch. Anyone care to join me?"

_It's barely past noon, _Kurloz wrote on his pad, rolling his crystal blue eyes. However, he stretched his back and took a spot on the expansive tan couch. Tavros sat in his chair for a moment, unsure of what to do. He chewed his thumbnail and mulled over.

He decided he'd might as well just take a nap while he was there. He had nothing better to do anyway, and work wasn't until after Sunday. Tavros snuggled into the corner of the couch with a little fluffy purple throw and closed his eyes. Gamzee laid down next to him, his bushy head on Tavros' thigh and Kurloz on the other side of him.

Tavros soon found it a little difficult to sleep with Gamzee's face so close to a rather personal location. Knowing the man, he'd probably try to make some kind of move of the bronze-eyed boy while he was sleeping and he preferred to not have something like that happen with someone he just met so close by. So, Tavros tried to gingerly adjust himself into a safer position, Gamzee's head now closer to his chest. "Better," he whispered to himself before drifting off.

* * *

Tavros woke to hear the doorbell going off. He waited a moment, brushing the sleep from his eyes before finally sitting up and lifting himself onto his chair. He wheeled over to the door, brushing his mohawk back with one hand.

"Hello?" he groaned groggily as he opened the door, still too muzzy to be aware of his surroundings.

"Hello, yourself," a familiar female voice greeted. Tavros paused, finally waking up. Was that...? No, it couldn't be. She was back home with mom. She'd never show up without calling first.

But, there she was. "Valeria?" Tavros asked dumbly, still confused. "What are you doing here?"

"It's nice to see you too, littler brother." The tall 21 year old, more commonly referred to as Rufi, ruffled Tavros' hair affectionately and took a step around him. "Mind if I come in? The bus ride over here was hell."

"Uh, sure," Tavros stuttered. "It's great to see you, sis! You look great!"

Rufi smiled, spinning in a little circle. "Really?" The girl looked quite different. Her long hair had recently been cropped into a fringed pixie cut, laced with stripes of red. The cut framed her delicate feline face, so very similar to that of Tavros, perfectly. One could really see her big bronze-colored eyes now.

"So..." Rufi mumbled, taking a look around the room. "I tried your apartment but nobody was answering. I'm assuming this place belongs to one of those people...?" She pointed to the still passed out forms of Gamzee and Kurloz, resting peacefully on the couch.

"Yeah," Tavros replied. "The one with the white shirt is my neighbor, Gamzee, and the other one is his brother Kurloz."

"Awesome," Rufi said enthusiastically. "Can't wait to meet 'em! However..."

"Huh?"

"Just what exactly are you doing, sleeping with two guys like this? Especially brothers. This is _quite _the scandal." Rufi chuckled, ignoring Tavros' protests. "I didn't know my little brother could be so...erogenous."

Tavros nearly fell out of his chair in embarrassment.


	14. Chapter 14

_Good morning all my beautiful ladybugs and gentlemanbugs. I'm going to have to cut this chapter short because my internet connection is going up and down and I'm afraid I'll lose all my work. Never fear, though, this will continue and hopefully become more interesting as time goes on! Anyway, I'm always up suggestions on how I can improve and what I can add to make this fic more interesting. I brought Rufi in because of one reviewer, so you know I listen to you guys :)_

_Well, on Sunday I had a bit of an accident. I was helping out with construction for my school's musical when a big piece of wood fell on my head. Ugh. I had to go to the emergency room and my head is killing me right now. I even got a lovely black eye to finish off the whole ordeal. So, I'm in a bit of pain right now but I refuse to hold off on writing any further! _

_Love forever, _

_~Ari_

* * *

"It's not like that at all!" Tavros exclaimed hurriedly, waving his hands in front of his face as if to wipe away his sister's ludicrous assumption. Rufi simply smirked her ever-knowing smile at the disheveled teen and removed his crinkled leather jacket.

"Whatever you say, Tavvy," she sang. "Beyond that-" she turned to the two figures who were just beginning to awaken from the disturbance. She waited a moment for them to gather their wits and notice that there was a fourth person added to the room. Rufi smiled at the two Makaras before quietly saying,"hello, guys! I'm Valeria, Tavros' older sister." She extended her hand to Kurloz and Gamzee respectively.

"Sup," Gamzee said groggily, mushing his face around a little and peering through half-lidded eyes. "Gamzee. Welcome, to uh, my motherfucking apartment er...yeah."

"Eloquent," Tavros whispered under his breath, only to be tackled by Gamzee.

"I heard that!" The older male exclaimed, surprisingly more awake, crashing onto Tavros' lap. "You're going to have to make up for that comment." He stuck his stuck out teasingly, slowly inching his face into Tavros' until the bronze-eyed boy turned his head, blushing frantically.

"Dude!" Tavros shrieked, trying to push Gamzee off his lap. He peered over at his sister, nearly wanting to bludgeon his own head with a hammer when he saw that familiar 'I knew it' smirk on her lips.

"I see," Rufi said smugly. "Whatever. You can trust me, I won't tell mom." She winked, much to Tavros' chagrin, before centering her focus on Kurloz. "I haven't been formally introduced to you yet. You're Kurloz, right?"

Kurloz nodded, his eyes wide and his cheeks flushed for some reason. Tavros took his attention off the wriggling Gamzee on his lap to focus on Kurloz for a moment. He was acting strangely antsy.

Rufi wasn't one for awkward silence, though. "Cool. Is Gamzee the older brother?"

Kurloz's blush deepened. Of course, he was probably sensitive about that, as he was considerably shorter than Gamzee. He was even shorter than Rufi, woh was 5'11 and wearing a pair of heels. Looking down, he took out his pad and wrote.

_Eh, no. I'm the oldest. I'm 24, he's 21. _

Rufi didn't even blink at his age or lack of vocal response. "Oh! My mistake. I'm a bit of a dumby. Anyway, you don't live here, right? You in the city or what?"

Karluz shook his head, still looking embarrassed. He wrote:

_No, just visiting. I'm from Scarborough and I'm staying here for a while._

"Really?" Rufi exclaimed, eyes widened. "No shit! That's only a few towns north of where Tav and I grew up!" The two continued their conversation, but Tavros could not eavesdrop after that point. He was, er, preoccupied with a certain Gamzee wriggling about on his lap.

"You hurt my feelings!" Gamzee's remarked tragically, clutching his chest. When he saw Tavros' blank expression, he overdramatiscized his performance."Your indifference is killing me! Shit, I'm dying...And there's only one thing," he wheezed, "that can revive me."

"And what might that be?" Tavros asked, humoring the violet-eyed man.

Gamzee splayed himself clumsily on Tavros, his legs hanging off the wheelchair. He leaned up and whispered, "Closer child," beckoning Tavros with a single long finger. Tavros rolled his eyes, but complied, leaning in slightly.

Gamzee faked a cough, gasping. "Closer," he whispered raggedly.

"Jeegus Christ, what is it?"

Gamzee pulled Tavros by the collar, bringing his lips to the boy's ear. He made a show of wheezing a little before saying in his most dramatically piteous voice, "A kiss."

Tavros groaned. "Not in front of my sister!"

Gamzee flopped over, his head hanging down on one side of Tavros. "Ughhhhhhh!" he muttered, dying.

"_Fine. fine, fine!_" Tavros whispered hurriedly, looking to make sure his sister was facing away before saying, "Just a quick one?"

"Of course, my dear."

"Oh, alright." He leaned in and prudently put his lips on Gamzee's, expecting a quick, close-mouthed peck. However, he was met with a lot of tongue prodding his prodding, demanding entrance. "Hey!" he exclaimed, but the man quickly used the opportunity to slide his tongue into Tavros' opened mouth. "_Mmph!" _Tavros protested, pushing against Gamzee. He, however, smirked, sitting up so to better his position on the teen's lap. He wrapped his arms around the boy's neck.

* * *

"Gee wiz!" Rufi exclaimed, turning when she heard the disgruntled groans behind her. "You might want to save that for the bed room."

"It's not what you think!" Tavros called out desperately between kisses. "Hey!- _mmph! - _stop it, you!" He started laughing as the older man tickled his sides. "You suck!"

"Maybe later," Gamzee moaned. Tavros flushed a deep red before being assaulted with kisses again.

"I hate you!"

"Love you too, cutie."

Rufi sighed, averting her eyes from the peculiar scene. "Alright then," he said, turning back to Kurloz. "Are they always like this?"

Kurloz shrugged his shoulders.

_Don't really know, just came in this morning. Gamzee's a bit...eccentric like that, though. Doesn't really know what's appropriate. _

Rufi laughed. "I can tell." She brushed the black and red fringe from her bronze eyes, looking at Kurloz with curiosity. "This is way too formal. Wanna grab a coffee?"

Kurloz bit his lip, holding back a smile. He quickly wrote on his pad.

_I'd love to._

* * *

"We're gonna leave you love birds alone," Rufi called as she put on her leather jacket. "Kurloz and I are gonna get some coffee. Be back later."

The two ignored her, too busy having some odd tickle war on Tav's wheelchair. Kurloz shrugged at Rufi, rolling his eyes. He rabbed his own jacket and followed the girl out the door.

They decided to walk to short distance to the nearest Starbuck's, not wanting to bother with Rufi's crappy Volkswagon. The air was chilly, the season just beginning to turn into winter.

"Brr," Rufi remarked, shoving her hands in the pockets of her jacket. "It's a lot colder here. I shoulda brought warmer clothes."

Kurloz took off his jacket, offering it to the girl shyly. He felt silly, when she was so much taller than him and yet still three years younger. He felt the need to assert some form of masculinity.

He guessed Rufi must have sensed that, because she widened her eyes at the offer, saying "Gosh, thanks!" and smiled as she drapped the coat over her shoulders. "So how long do you plan on staying?" she asked, grasping the sides of the coat.

_I'm not sure. I'm staying til I recover from an accident. That's why I'm not talking, btw. Damaged my vocal cords._

"That's shitty," Rufi remarked, looking to Kurloz with concern. "Is...is it permanent?"

_I hope not. _

"Oh." They walked in silence for a while, the weight of the subject making the cold air around them quite heavy. "Well, it's no matter. I'm sure you'll be fine in no time! Until then, maybe I can help you out."

_How so? _Kurloz wrote, looking at the girl with curiosity.

"I can teach you some sign language!" She quickly moved her hands about in some gesture. "It's pretty easy and it'll be a lot faster than having to write every single word down."

Kurloz nodded. _I'm up for that. Sounds cool._


	15. Chapter 15

_I have a learner's permit now woo! I'm a driver :)_

_~Ari_

* * *

Gamzee had somehow managed to move Tavros onto his bed from the wheelchair without taking any breaks with his onslaught of kisses. Even as he carried the teen from one room to another, he planted little smooches on his neck, cheeks, and lips playfully, making the boy laugh.

Tavros had altogether given up on protesting the gestures, giving into the temptation. Fuck, he _liked _Gamzee. Why deny himself a little fun makeout happy times? He allowed himself to forget what happened that night, to not tense up at every little touch, to not let himself be reminded of that _monster. _This is Gamzee, he reminded himself, his Gamzee. Not _him_. And if he could just replace that terrible memory with a good one, a positive image of what sex should be, then maybe everything would be alright.

The older man laid Tavros gently on his dark grey sheets, being careful around his legs. He straddled the boy, balancing himself on top of him and beginning to nibble his pink lips. His hands had long ago stopped playfully tickling; they moved on to softly rubbing the teen's waist, placing little circles on the goosebump-riddled flesh that made Tavros shiver. It was around that time that Tavros started to kiss back, though with a lot less ferocity than the wild-haired man. He kept his touches gossamer and slow, sensual as opposed to Gamzee's ravenous movements. He put a hand behind the older man's neck, feeling the intense warmth radiating from his flesh. The temperature matched his own, nearly stifling in the darkened, tight room.

Gamzee lifted his head from Tavros' neck, looking at the boy for a moment. "Are you...?" he started, biting his lip nervously. "Okay?" He blushed, trying to veil his embarrassment in the darkness of the bedroom. He recalled the last time he made such advances on the younger man, and they had gone less than optimal. He was in no position to force himself on the boy, whether consciously or not. Gamzee wanted only for this to happen when Tavros was completely ready.

"Of course," the mohawked teen replied, nodding his head feverishly and pulling his lover's mouth back down to his own. He began pulling up Gamzee's white t-shirt, impatient for the soft feeling of the man's heated skin. Gamzee easily complied, quickly unbuttoning his own jeans and pulling them off.

"Are you sure, bro?" Gamzee hesitated, leaning over the boy in nothing but his black boxers.

"I said yes, god dammit!" Tavros sighed, eagerly grabbing at the man's waist. He didn't want to think about it; if he allotted himself time to think, he might chicken out again. And that couldn't owed this not only to himself, but to Gamzee.

"Fuck, I'm loving this assertiveness," Gamzee chortled. "You should totally dom." Tavros blushed a deep crimson this time, which made Gamzee laugh even harder. "You're too motherfucking cute."

"I'm not a freaking puppy," Tavros sighed. "Now help me give this damn thing off." Gamzee continued chuckling to himself even as he helped Tavros remove his sweater and shirt. He paused at the boy's jeans, awaiting the cry to stop that he thought would be inevitable. He had to admit, though, he was a little nervous. He'd never seen Tavros' legs before, or, well, where they would have been.

But Tavros remained confident, unbuttoning the pants himself and pulling them off. Still yet, he waited for a look of disgust when Gamzee finally saw his scarred and jagged stumps. The operation had, in fact, been a rather messy one. The doctors had to cut around vital arteries which left for a rather aesthetically pleasing cutoff at the knee.

However, Gamzee paid no mind to it. He instead poked Tavros' petite pale stomach and said, "Woof woof."

"Ugh!" Tavros couldn't help but giggle. Finally, the two got back to each other, melting again into a deep kiss, their bodies entangling under the thin covers. Gamzee knotted his long fingers in Tavros' hair, gasping as the boy moved his hands down to gently stroke at his no-no spot.

* * *

_No fuck this shit I can't write romance scenes I can't Jesus Christ I just-I can't do it I'm sorry. Use your imaginations please (/- . -)/_

* * *

"Fuck," the older of the two moaned, burying his face in Tavros' shoulder. "You're too innocent for this."

Tavros paused, a sudden memory of The Night flashing through his brain. "No..." he muttered, losing himself in the flashback.

"No what?" Gamzee cocked an eyebrow, lifting his face back up from the shoulder.

"I'm not," Tavros whispered, shaking his head. "Jesus Christ, I'm not innocent." He wasn't there anymore. He was back in Elixir's kitchen, spread out on the stainless steel counter top with the heaving mass of Equius on top of him. He felt everything again, every ounce of pain that he thought he'd escaped from. "I'm fucking dirty," he gasped, dry heaving, turned over on the sheets as he tried to push out the ghost of the memory. "Jesus Christ, make it stop!"

Gamzee fumbled back, nearly falling off the bed in a hurry to get away from Tavros. "Shit, did I hurt you? I'm so fucking sorry, oh geez-" He gripped his messy hair, internally yelling at himself for being such a motherfucking idiot. He didn't even know how, but he'd managed to hurt Tavros before they'd even done anything. He panicked, not sure how to help for fear that touching him would just set the poor boy off even further.

Tavros, meanwhile, was still stuck in the kitchen. "Please!" he said out loud, "Pleast _stop!" _Tears where now streaming down his pink face.

Gamzee was utterly confused as he scurried around his bedroom, turning on the lights and trying to throw a pair of pants on. "No, look, Tav, I stopped! See? I'm over here, Tav, it's okay."

"What did I do to you?" Tavros sobbed rawly. "Please, get off me!"

Gamzee paused, stopping to take a closer look at the hysterical boy writhing on his bed. His eyes were glazed over, as if he were somewhere else. His cries didn't seem to be directed at Gamzee- they were looking at some unknown figure above him. "Oh no..." Gamzee had a sinking, dreaded feeling in the pit of his stomach. This could only mean one thing.

All at once, Gamzee knew. It wasn't him that Tavros was trying to fend off.

"_Please! _I'm so sorry!- Help!- Get off, please, _Equius-"_

"No." Gamzee stopped, staring at his beautiful, innocent, poor Tavros. He rushed over to the bed, wrapping the small teen in his arms and rocking him back and forth. "Sssh, baby, it's over. I'm here now. I'm here."

Tavros continued to sob, still somewhere else, with someone else. With Equius. "God, why didn't you tell me?" Gamzee cried, unable to control himself anymore. Anger raged in his chest. "Why didn't you tell me?" He gripped the boy in place, trying to bring him back to reality. His grabbed his face in both hands and forced Tavros to look at him. "He's gone, baby, he's never going to hurt you again!"

As quickly as it had started, Tavros came back. His bronze eyes refocused, the tears making the iris shine like gold. He looked up at the man above him, his ashen face ragged and tear stained. "Gamzee," he groaned softly. He lifted a hand to touch the man's face, running his finger along the whitened scar just to prove to himself that this was real. "God, I'm so sorry. I can't even-"

"Don't," Gamzee cut in, his mouth a straight line. "Please. I'm the one who's sorry. But why wouldn't you tell me?" He gasped, lifting a hand to cover his face as another eruption of tears came.

"I'll make sure he never touches you again. I promise."

Tavros didn't respond. He was broken once more; he thought it was over but clearly it would never end. Even if Gamzee exacted some sort of revenge, it would never stop. It still happened, and you can't erase the past. The pain would always be there.


	16. Chapter 16

_You are my sunshine_

_My only sunshine_

_You make me happy when sky are grey_

_You'll never know, dear,_

_How much I love you_

_Please don't take my sunshine away_

_~Ari_

* * *

"It seems, my dear Kurloz, that I have literally left you speechless!"

_You suck, _Kurloz signed, still laughing. Rufi winked at the man, chuckling at her little joke. The two had made some progress, both in terms of teaching Kurloz how to sign and becoming friends. The two had a lot in common, from their taste in music to their mutual hatred of mayonnaise. In the hour or so that they had sat together in the coffee shop, the two had learned a lot about each other.

"Alright, so if you want to say 'motherfucker,' you do this," Rufi smirked as she demonstrated the signs, tapping her hands together in front of her chest and flicking the fingers on her left hand under her chin. "I've found that to be pretty useful."

Kurloz practiced the sign, taking on the lessons seemingly effortlessly. To be honest, he wouldn't have been so good had he not been transfixed on Rufi. She was really quite striking. She was beautiful in an unconventional way, and exuded easy confidence. Plus, Rufi was extremely charismatic, talking to Kurloz as if he were an old friend in a matter of minutes. Kurloz appreciated her ability to hold up the conversation on her own, with him being unable to respond verbally.

Regardless, they talked about movies and books and tv shows, soon beginning to communicate through simple signs.

"You're really good," Rufi complimented, satisfied with her teaching. "I think we should probably go back to Gamzee's, though. I don't want to leave those lovebirds alone for too long."

It was still early afternoon when the two left the coffee shop, but the sky was dark grey with clouds and little droplets were just beginning to fall. "I love this kind of weather," Rufi smiled, looking up at the sky.

"Me too," Kurloz signed, rewarded with a thumbs-up from the girl.

* * *

They weren't prepared for what they came back home to.

Gamzee sat on the couch, his elbows on his knees, one hand holding his head and the other shakily grasping a joint. He made no reaction to their arrival, only continued to sit there in stony silence, his whole body seeming to shake.

Rufi took a tentative step closer to the man, and hesitantly said, "Uhm, Gamzee...?"

Gamzee mumbled something into his palm. Rufi looked back at Kurloz, who merely shrugged, a look of concern on his angular face. Rufi turned back around and cleared her throat. "What was that?"

"I WAS MOTHERFUCKING THERE!" Gamzee's face was lifted, a snarl putting a grotesque mask over his usually calm features. His scar was pulled and stretched across his face, his cheeks stained with tears, adding further to the frightening scene. He cried out, taking a drag from the joint and putting his head back down.

"What are you talking about?" Rufi said as calmly as she could, taking a step back from the hysterical man. "Are you okay?"

"No," Gamzee whispered, looking away from the two. "Fuck. I was there, Jesus Christ. I was in the same _fucking building, _and I didn't do any-motherfucking-thing. And now...God, it's all my fault!" His voice caught in his throat.

"Gamzee, you need to tell us what you're talking about." Rufi and Kurloz sat down on the armchair opposite of him, still too hesitant to get anywhere closer.

"Tavros was raped," Gamzee said after awhile, his voice lowered to a hoarse whisper. "A few weeks ago. By my friend." He gripped his unruly black hair, pulling hard on the locks. A cry escaped his throat, a frightening sound that was almost animalistic.

"Oh my god. Are you...? Oh my god." Rufi stared at the man, her bronze eyes wide. She blinked. "Where is he?"

Without once lifting his head, Gamzee pointed to the door to his bedroom. Kurloz took out his pad, an wrote;

_When?_

"A-a while ago," Gamzee said gruffly, wiping his eyes. "At this fucking club, E-Elixir or whatever. By this bouncer, Equius. And...man, it's my fault! I left him _alone!" _

"...how did you find out?" Rufi whispered, her voice cracking. "Why didn't he tell me? Oh..." She turned her head from the two Makaras, trying not to cry. She was still in complete shock, still not really comprehending what Gamzee had said. Hell, even Gamzee was still having trouble understanding.

"We were in my room, and I- fuck, I shouldn't have _even tried, _I knew he wasn't ready- but I-I said something a-and he just...he left. He went back to when it happened and started crying and he. God, he said Equius' name and it took me a long time to get him to come back and- now he's just sleeping." Gamzee took a long drag from his joint, then offered it to the two, who both refused.

Nobody spoke. There was nothing to say.

* * *

Tavros lay in the bed, pretending to sleep. He didn't want to have to talk to Gamzee, or his sister or Kurloz. He could hear them talking in the next room over. He could hear Gamzee crying.

That was the worst part. Hearing Gamzee cry. Especially knowing that it was because of him.

Tavros took a deep breath, curling in on himself in the secure folds of the sheets. He was still in only his underwear; after his breakdown, he didn't really have the energy to get dressed again. So he was stuck there, unable to sleep but unable to be awake. He wanted nothing more than to disappear at that very moment, to not have to face the three people waiting for him in the other room. For some reason he felt as though he had let them all down.

* * *

_Very short, sorry, but happy halloween everybody! I hope your day is satisfyingly spooky! :)_


	17. Chapter 17

_It's really too bad that tomorrow is a Monday. I have a lot of homework, but I vowed to myself that I would finish and post this chapter tonight. I feel like I left you guys hanging in the last part, so I thought you were in need of closure. Please enjoy my quaint little story, and remember always that I love each and every one of you. Also, in case you didn't know, I have a tumblr. It's peterpansexxual, so if you'd like to check it out and see what I look like and stuff, feel free to pay me a visit :) If you too have one, I'd love to follow you. _

_~Ari_

* * *

Tavros lay groggily on a rigid bed stark-white sheets and a thin grey blanket. The room smelled like antiseptic and sterile, everything crisp and clean and plain. The room was too severe to be comforting; that was always something Tavros wondered about. So many terrible things happened in hospitals, wouldn't you at least make the place more welcoming? That would at least dull the pain.

But, still, he sat on that bed in the too-bright white room, wires hooked to his arm, chest, back, and stomach, all his vitals recorded on a little black screen next to him. He didn't know what time it was, how long it had since he'd last seen Gamzee, Rufi, and Kurloz. He didn't even know where they were. The second they arrived at the hospital, him being carried in by Gamzee as they were too emergent to deal with wheelchair, he was taken away by hostile looking nurses and immediately hooked into the devices surrounding him.

They'd attached a bag of clear liquid to his arm, filtering it into his blood stream. The drug had made him pass out immediately, and when he awoke he had no recollection of ever dreaming. He was there, and then he was back. The doctor had yet to arrive. Tavros waited nervously, wriggling around to get comfortable without disrupting his wires. Looking down, he noticed someone had dressed him in a big brown hospital gown. Tavros blushed, remembering that he had come into the hospital wearing nothing but his boxers and one of Gamzee's t-shirts. Everyone had insisted on rushing him to the hospital, without a moment to get ready. Tavros scolded himself internally for making everyone worry like that.

It had been nearly three weeks since the incident, Tavros remembered, shuddering. If there was a time to panic, it would have been three weeks ago.

Suddenly, the door opened to reveal a man who looked to be in his fifties, with greying temples and kind eyes. He held a clipboard in his hand and was still going through it as he walked into the room. He looked up at Tavros, then back down and said, "Tavros Nitram, correct?"

"Y-yes," Tavros responded quietly.

The doctor smiled kindly, extending a hand. "It's nice to meet you, Mr. Nitram. I'm Dr. Vantas." Tavros took the hand in his own; it was warm. "It;s nice to see that you've woken up already. Your sister and friends are in the waiting room right now, but I'd like to just discuss a few things with you before we let them in. Is that okay?"

Tavros nodded hesitantly, not wanting to even think about that night, let alone discuss it in full medical detail.

However, Dr. Vantas continued. "The, eh, incident occurred 21 days ago, is that correct? At a...night club called Elixir?" Tavros nodded. Vantas nodded, checking something off on his clipboard. "Alright. To be frank, you should have gone to the emergency room 21 days ago. However, I do understand the embarrassment, fear, and shock you no doubt experienced as a result and luckily there are no signs pf physically damage to your body. Anything that maybe have been lacerated or in any way scarred is now healed."

Tavros let out a shaking breath. "Did I...contract anything?"

Dr. Vantas sat down in a chair in the room, looking at Tavros closely, yet not in a scrutinizing manner. "No. We ran a few tests, but you haven't caught any STI's. Thankfully, everything is healthy. Now, emotionally, you have and will probably continue to experience things like flashbacks, depression, or anxiety. We can offer help through medication or therapy, but unfortunately those scars often take a long time to heal. We're all very sorry that something so terrible happened to you, but please know that I'm here to help you in any way I can." Dr. Vantas smiled a Tavros, placing a hand sympathetically on his shoulder. "I know you must not want to talk about this, but we're currently in the process of taking legal action against your attacker, Mr. Zahhack."

"Alright. Thank you." Tavros tried to smile at the doctor, but soon found that he couldn't get his lips to comply. He was exhausted, both mentally and physically.

"I see you're still a bit tired, so I'll let you rest for a while," Dr. Vantas said, writing one last thing on his clip board. "I'll come back when you've had a little more rest."

Tavros could barely nod his goodbye before drifting off to a dreamless sleep.

* * *

The seconds on the clock seemed to drag on tortuously slow. Gamzee wanted nothing more than to run into Tav's room and hug him, tell him that everything would be alright. But the nurses had forced him to sit in the waiting room, promising the doctor would talk to him 'shortly.' Nearly three hours later, Gamzee was starting to think he'd never come.

He looked over to Rufi and Kurloz, sitting silently beside him. Rufi was quiet, looking down at a magazine but not actually reading it. Her eyes stared down at a single part, unmoving. Her mouth was a straight line, but every so often it would tremble slightly and Gamzee could see she was on the verge of crying. He was in awe at how well she could keep all this in. Gamzee had been utterly hysterical when he first heard of what happened to his poor Tavros. Rufi had been so calm and collected. She had been the one to actually get everyone moving, bringing Tav to the hospital.

Yet now, it was clear she was just as upset as Gamzee. Kurloz himself, though not knowing Tavros very well, had spent the whole car ride in the back with the boy, an arm over his shoulder and silently comforting him. That was the thing about his brother, Gamzee thought. He was a protector.

"Valeria Nitram?" Gamzee started, surprised by the loud voice in the previously silent room. He was met by a tall middle-aged man in a white lab coat, holding a clip board. He looked to Rufi, who had gotten up to shake the man's hand. "Hello, miss. I'm Dr. Vantas."

"Is he alright?" she asked expectantly.

"He's recovering," the doctor said comfortingly. "He'll be fine soon enough and there is no physical trauma. We've decided the best thing we can do for him on the emotional level is give him a prescription for antidepressants, just as a precaution. It's typical for a victim in such a situation to experience depression, anxiety, and flashbacks. So, episode today may not be the last. We'll give him medicine for that, as well. We're hoping that the little guy with hold up well; he's been quite brave as it is."

Rufi smiled at the doctor, and wrapped her long arms around him in a hug. hesitated for a moment, before giving in and lightly patting the girl on the back. "He's just resting right now, but he'll be fine to check out in the morning.

"I'd suggest you go back home for now and get your sleep. Come back tomorrow at 8 o'clock and you can take Tavros back home." Dr. Vantas looked to Kurloz and Gamzee, nodding. "You are Kurloz and Gamzee Makara, correct?"

"Yes, sir," Gamzee answered for both of them.

"It's a pleasure to meet you." took a small step over to Gamzee and said in a low voice that only he could hear, "It's common for rape victims to feel...a need to redeem themselves to their sexual partners after the attack. I personally suggest that you take things slowly with Tavros, at least until he has recovered. I realize how hard this must be on you, but don't feel that any of this is your fault. You did the right thing, bringing him here the second you found out." patted him on the shoulder, smiled, and turned back around.

Gamzee felt numb, wanting only to see Tavros. He couldn't picture himself just going home when the poor kid was stuck in this place. Yet, he went anyway, not wanting to keep Kurloz and Rufi waiting.

It would be another sleepless night.


	18. Chapter 18

_I'm rather glad I started writing this fanfic. I've met so many wonderful people through this :) A certain lovely person in particle, hon hon hon. It's just too bad that I love so far away from all of you people. I don't really have too many local homestucks so that's too bad. Also, due to the conservative nature of my school and other social surroundings, there is only a very small amount of LGBTQA people. Sucks, bro. But I'm glad be live in the internet world, where I can communicate with all you fabulous people =^.^= _

_~Ari_

* * *

"Did I ever tell you how Tavros ended up like that? In his wheelchair, I mean."

It was cold, despite the heater filling the apartment with warm air. The moon was high in the night sky, casting a silvery light through the window as Rufi sat upright on the couch next to the lounging Kurloz. Neither could sleep; it was the night that Tavros was in the hospital. Rufi had been too nervous for her brother to drive herself home. Instead, she was staying with the Makaras in Gamzee's apartment. The owner of the flat was currently in his own bedroom, no doubt worrying himself too much to get even an ounce of sleep. He had wanted to be alone, and so there was Kurloz and Rufi, sitting quiet yet alert in the messy living room, bathed in the darkness of the early, early morning.

Kurloz held a hand up, tapping his fingers on her nose, signaling Rufi to continue. The older male was lying on the couch, his legs hanging over one of the arms, his head nearly touching Rufi's lap. The wild strands of thick black hair tickled at her leg.

"It was a while ago," Rufi responded quietly, gazing out the window as she recalled. "Eight years, I think. I was 14 at the time and Tavros was only 10." There was a pause; Rufi's breath hitched in her throat. Kurloz sensed the sound, reaching up to lace his fingers through her own and give them a reassuring squeeze. The black and red haired girl smiled down at him, and continued. "We were in the car with our mom and, well, the road was slippery with ice. It was winter at the time, yeah? And we were kind of fighting in the backseat; not anything too much, just play fighting. But it was enough for mom to get distracted. And, at one point, I must have hit her seat so she turned around to get us to shut up, when it happened. The car spun, and we hit another car on Tavros' side. Mom's car was totaled; the other driver's door was smashed in. But I was fine, and mom was, and the driver. But Tavros...Well, he was the center of the impact. He was the only one hurt.

"And I remember him crying the most. He kept saying my name, and asking me to help. But I was just a dumb kid, I didn't know what to do. What do you do when your little brother is trapt beneath a burning slice of metal, bleeding all over the place?" Rufi took another deep breath, putting her head back on the top of the sofa. Kurloz lifted his own head intently, peering at the girl. Before he could try to comfort her, Rufi recovered herself and went on.

"Regardless, there probably wasn't much I could do. Eventually the EMS had to pull him out of the wreckage, and by then he had already passed out. He looked pretty bad, but we didn't know the extent of it until we got to the hospital and the nurses and doctors started clearing off his legs and trying to...sew all the pieces back together. And, yeah, the couldn't do it. There were too many severed arteries or something; he'd have gotten fatal infections had they not amputated him.

"And Tav just wasn't ever the same after that. He had been really into soccer when he was little, and then all of a sudden he couldn't do it. He had felt like he couldn't do anything and he became really depressed. He would spend most of his time in his room, just reading or playing video games and soon I was like his only friend because he refused to do anything. That was a really rough time for Tav. And I just, I just thought that things would get better when he moved out here. With freedom, things could be _different, _you know? He'd become happier and actually have motivation and all that with independance and it neve ronce occurred to me that he wouldn't be safe. But, fuck, I was wrong."

Rufi had started to cry softly. Kurloz sat fully up, enveloping the younger girl in his arms. She collapsed into him, allowing the tears to flow at their own will. She loved Tavros most in the world, and had always been his protector, even in childhood. She had failed him, and their mother. "I should have been here..." her voice was a rugged whimper.

The two sat like that for a while, seeing no reason to even try to talk. They'd both had very exhausting days, filled with more emotions than either of the two were used to dealing with. In both cases, it was their role to be the strong role model, the stoic protector of their younger sibling in troubling times. Kurloz knew that he'd had his fair share in cracks of that 'older sibling' facade. So, he understood what Rufi felt. The pain one feels for a brother or sister is greater than any personal pain.

Kurloz took out a pad and pen from his messenger bag, and set to writing rather quickly. Rufi slowly lifted her head, peering quizzically at the mute man. He held up a single finger signaling for her to wait. After a few minutes of hasty writing, he held up a fully noted page of his pad.

_Now's a better time than not to tell you what happened to me, _the note read. Kurloz shrugged at Rufi, and pointed at his mouth. He smiled sadly for a moment before pointing to the rest of the writing, which was small and cramped on the page. Rufi squinted her eyes to make our the letters in the dim lighting.

_I used to have this girlfriend, named Meulin. And she and I were really close, been dating for almost 3 years. Things were getting serious. Not too long ago, I decided I was going to propose to her. And I had this whole big stupid thing planned out to do it. We were supposed to go on this boat ride thing and I had a ring picked out and everything seemed perfect. Meulin looked so beautiful and happy, like she knew what was coming. We'd been talking about it, too._

_So yeah, we were just having a great time and it was night and I was getting ready to pop the question when the boat just started to capsize, it practically almost flipped over in the waves. I don't even know how it happened. But Meulin fell into the water. It was really cold and she couldn't swim and I screamed for help. I tried to help her get back onboardbut I slipped myself and knocked into a broken wooden board. It hit me right on the neck, bruising the skin and leaving a big cut (hence the bandages.) It somehow knocked onto my throat so hard it cut into my vocal cords. They're supposedly healing right now, and that's my I can't talk._

_Anyway, I managed to get Meulin back onto the boat but the damage had been done. She got hypothermia and her eardrums were damaged by the water pressure. After the whole thing, she told me over and over again that it wasn't my fault and she didn't blame me, but I'm the one who arranged the whole thing. And I was the one who couldn't get her out of the water in time. Well, the proposal was discarded. And we broke up soon after. It was too much pain for both of us, being together and not saying, not hearing. It was a constant reminder of what had happened._

That was the end of the paper. Rufi sat for a moment, looking at the calm and gently smiling face of Kurloz. His wide ice blue eyes were focused and deliberate, not giving any sign of the tragic lettering on the note. He kept up a good mask, and though she'd only known him for a little more than a day, Rufi wanted to get to know what was behind that mask.

"It will get better," Rufi said quietly. 'Sorry' didn't seem like an appropriate response. It held no substance and sounded so impersonal. Kurloz seemed to need more than a simple 'boohoo your life' speech.

So, it felt very natural when the tall girl pressed her lips against the mute's.


End file.
